#9 Flicking the switch!

I’ve been procrastinating about the strength and power a negative mindset can have over someone. As the LoA dictates, like attracts like whether this is based on a positive or a negative emotional frequency. But is one emotion stronger than the other?

When someone is feeling in despair, struggling with rejection, frustration, anger, fear, anxiety, sadness or loss [to name only a few emotional states].  And ‘advice’ starts heading in their direction, the last thing they are wanting to hear is ‘what you need to do is think positively!’ How do we tackle negativity? How do we flick the switch?

I’ve had people close to me battling with their negativity all for differing reasons. So how do I handle it…firstly I listen. Which is no easy task. With my counselling training we are taught to listen without interrupting or passing judgement and to hold off on self-disclosure. Easy right? Unfortunately, not. It’s taken me a long time to refrain and achieve self-control. [My family may dispute this statement] In the past I would relate to a previous time when I have been in their shoes to show that I knew what they were going through. Empathy, right? But not so. No one can have the same experience; as we are all different in our outlook, thought patterns, stage of life etc etc.

Listening requires being 100% connected to that person, at that time. Eye gazing without staring and waiting. Waiting for a natural pause in the conversation, [preferably once they have said all that they had wanted to say,] that may or may not be filled with words. I’m a person who used to like filling gaps with words. Any words, off topic or on! Which was usually down to feeling nervous. Now I love silence. People who want to talk need to be listened too, so provide them the time and your attention.

Once the person has expressed what they wanted to say uninterrupted you acknowledge what they have said. This can be in the form of repeating them ‘it sounds like you feel…’  ideally using their words back to them to show them that you have listened and care what they are saying, this is known as ‘paraphrasing’ or ‘summarising’. Only once that this has been done is it the time to gently and appropriately approach the subject from a different stance. But again, gently is the key word. Remember this is sowing seeds of thought and hope not opening an arena to an argument. Best judgement will need to be used. Feel with your intuition. Is there still low vibrational energy in the words and energy surrounding the person? If so listen some more.

It’s highly likely that if this process is used, the person who has been talking would have felt heard. They got what was troubling them off their mind and hopefully feel ready to breathe a sigh of relief and be far more receptive to alternative words.

I think for me, the biggest difference between being negative and positive is HOPE. Without hope, we tend to get in to a state of catastrophising our world which hinders any progress and control that we feel over our lives.

The week just gone I was able to use this method to enable Mr P to see a situation differently. It helped him from procrastinating about something that didn’t go his way and see it as an opportunity that would in fact benefit him.

That’s why I love the Law of Attraction. It gives us back the power and control and allows us to design a reality that we want to live in.

As for answering the question of which emotion is more powerful, the positive or negative? They are equal power. Law of Attraction is neutral, it doesn’t know what you want or need until you think about it. This can sway both ways. However, I do remember reading that for every negative comment someones hears about themselves it can take two or three positive ones to counteract that one negative. But for me I believe that this has more to do with how aligned that person feels to receive such feedback. More on alignment coming shortly.

If my children and Mr P were reading this now, they would questions me why I don’t always use this technique with the kids! No one is perfect.

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