There is no avoiding negativity, but we can get a handle on it. We need to invite more positivity into our lives, to do this we have to address the negativity.
I’m naturally a negative person. Which I know sounds a little strange coming from someone who advocates positive thinking. But I have learnt to be conscious in my everyday thoughts and be mindful of the words that I use to overcome my mind’s default setting of seeing the worse-case scenario in life. But I am far from perfect, of course there are times when my consciousness deviates and negativity slips out of my mouth like an unintended bottom burp.
But It’s not our fault, right! We are naturally a negative nation. It’s part of our conversational DNA. We sing the song about the miserable weather, the terrible traffic or how manic our day has been like a pacifying nursery rhyme. We then turn on the news and rather than hear of all the good things with our world and society we are bombarded with he said/she said, disputes, disasters and death.
A lot of this negativity is subtle. It appears without us even registering it. It’s sabotaging our thoughts and our results outside of our consciousness. So, for us to attract more positivity into our lives we need to first look at our negative patterns.
Negativity can rear its head in a number of ways; you may find yourself saying these familiar phrases “that won’t work”, “I don’t like that”, “I don’t want to…”, “they said this/that”.
You may find yourself being consumed by another person’s action, decision or emotion and complain about it? Do you feel that other people are going about their lives in the wrong way and you know better? Do you think there are toxic people?
Unbeknown to us the very act of complaining of other people’s negativity is in fact negative. The Law of Attraction states, that where you place your focus is what you attract more of. Negativity attracts more negativity.
So how can we become more conscious of our thought process to ensure positivity shines through?
By looking within. Recognising that we are in control over what our likes, our dislikes, desires and our reactions are to our external environment.
We have a choice as to whether we voice them or not, because nothing is negative until we state it as so. There is no upside to focusing on negativity.
Top Tips when becoming more conscious
- When we start to observe our thoughts, we need to be kind to ourselves — don’t beat yourself up because you realise that negativity is more prevalent than you had previously acknowledged.
- You need to separate the facts from thinking. Just because it feels true doesn’t make it true, this is down to our individual perception and belief.
- It doesn’t matter how another person shows up/behaves/talks as it isn’t on you to correct or comment, it’s on them — you will feel resistance to this feeling, let it pass.
- Choose wisely what you say out loud, because how you decide to behave is 100% on you — allow time from thought to reaction.
- Allow people to be themselves, without it affecting who you are as a person.
- If you find yourself reacting to a particular person, imagine that what this person said or did was done by your best friend. Would you feel the same way?
With 2020 just days away and resolutions buzzing in our grey matter. Let’s give ourselves the best possible chance of success de-cluttering our negativity.