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#20 Thought dumping and verbal vomiting to achieve your ultimate well-being

I used to keep things bottled up within. From the big to the small things in life. I hated confrontation and the fall out that pursued it, so I did my upmost to avoid them. I felt like I was the ‘better being’ as I wasn’t causing a scene or an unnecessary argument.  But unbeknown to me I was doing way more damage than I ever intended. 

Although I was keeping things to myself, the body has a way of giving hints as to how we truly feel. Our eyes may roll, our facial muscles react in response to words and actions. Our body demeanour has a language of its own that speaks volumes to the people around us who in turn, react and have their own responses.

Within us our thoughts start to grow like a cancer. They spoil into other areas of our mindset and before we even recognise what’s happened, we start to change our underlying feelings over the course of time. Sticking to our temperaments and seeping into our personalities.  Emotions of bitterness, resentfulness, hurt, anger, frustration, jealousy, fear can overcome us and start to influence our world without us even realising.

This process takes it toll on us from the inside. I used to suffer terribly with swollen glands  in the throat area. Never a sore throat, but painful to swallow and tender to touch. It tended to appear during periods of personal stress and/or juggling a busy life. The doctor’s couldn’t detect anything that may be causing it.

When I started to work on my own self-development I became aware of the effects of ill thinking was having on my well-being and body. I finally made the link between keeping schtum and my throat. As soon as I started to open up to others about how I was feeling as well as writing my thoughts down on paper I noticed the positive changes that I felt within. I had removed the ‘blockage’ within my throat as I had found my voice, that had liberated me from my over thinking.

Having a ‘safe space’ to dump your thoughts allows you to play the emotion and scenario out. It gives you the time for reflection, acceptance and understanding of the situation that triggered the original thought. When you put pen to paper or you are physically typing out your thoughts it provides you a moment of clarity. Forming a sentence to reflect your inner most thoughts requires a level of cognition. This process will create new insights and perspectives with the scenario. 

By the time I have completed the ‘dump’ I personally felt so much better. I have released the emotions I had felt, amended my opinion and ultimately felt lighter. If I found that some feelings were lingering I may explore it further in my journal. I may write a letter to that person explaining to them how I feel. This letter will never be sent, it may well be burnt, but either way it’s off my chest. 

I can also highly recommend a session of verbal vomiting. This is best done alone when no one can hear you (for obvious reasons). My favourite time to do this is on a dog walk. I chat out loud about the situation that has irked me and have a little rant. I let the words flow, with as much emotion as I deem necessary and then I stop. I take a metaphorical step back and sense how I am feeling. I ask myself, is there still unrest within me? Has my opinion altered? Do I still feel consumed with the same thoughts? Most often I don’t. I feel calmer and continue my walk in bliss and chat with Buddy (my dog) as normal.

The Science bit Where we hold our stress within our bodies is personal to each of us; some have increased heart palpitations, sweating, aches and pains or stomach upsets. There is a reason for this. We have a nerve that runs from our brain stem and entangles itself through all the major organs called the vagus nerve (aka the wanderer). This nerve acts as a two way transmitter. Not only does it react to the brains signals it receives from our thoughts about our worlds or reality, but more often it communicates from our organs to our brain. The vagus nerve is part of our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which is the calming part of the autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS is responsible for regulating many involuntary processes within our body. So rather important wouldn’t you say?

If we remind ourselves that our thoughts trigger our emotions, that drives our actions that give us our results. In this process our bodies will produce the relevant emotional chemical i.e. serotonin, endorphins, insulin, adrenaline etc depending on the thought we think. Which is why it’s so important we direct our thoughts.

So, if you find that you are consuming yourself with negative thought patterns your body is going to feel a regular surge of chemicals that put your body in a ‘get ready mode’. You’ll have adrenaline and cortisol being released after thinking a negative thought. If this happens over a period of time our bodies can actually become dependent on these chemicals and will start to crave more of this energy zapping emotional chemical. Your mind will want to recreate the thoughts that enable those chemicals to be released and you’ll find yourself in a pattern.

When we build up our negative thoughts, we are unwittingly creating surges of chemicals within our bodies that have negative side-effects. Over time, we can develop physical aliments due to our consistent thoughts such as high blood pressure, gastrointestinal problems, reduced immune symptom, so we are more susceptible too diseases, we have a higher risk of experiencing anxiety and depression.

Becoming more mindful of our thoughts and directing them in the way we want helps us to heal from within. A wonderful consequence of this means that we start to create a new habit and a more healthy thought pattern. We are also protecting our relationships with the people we want in our lives. This isn’t or shouldn’t be deemed as avoidance; this allows time for you to gain a different perspective so if and when you choose to speak to someone about the ‘subject’ you can do so at a different emotional state and better vibrational frequency. Hopefully achieving a better outcome for all involved.

Looking through the eyes of Law of Attraction, this exercise is perfect for up levelling your vibrational frequency. When our vibrations (energy) is high, we are automatically manifesting things at that level. The higher the vibrational frequency the more your emotions are leaning towards love and joy. The perfect energy to ensure that you are manifesting what you want in to your life now.

Doing a thought dump and verbal vomit regularly acts as a release valve that allows you too safely reset yourself back to a neutral equilibrium. It paves the way to a more positive well-being that ultimately protects us from the inside out.

Win win!

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#19 Appreciation v’s Gratitude

At times like these, it’s easy to feel swept away with the strongest emotion that surrounds us. For some, this may be feelings of frustration, anxiety, worry or fear. But for others, this moment has offered us more.  More time, reflection, self-development, rest, and repose.

For those who are struggling at this moment in time I wanted to share with you techniques on how you can help alleviate these feelings.

I like to start and end most days with a rampage of appreciation. A lot of people talk about gratitude rather than appreciation but there is a significant difference between the two. They are used interchangeably, but they do not mean the same thing.

You may have heard people talk about “gratitude journal’s” whereby you write things you are grateful for in your life. There is nothing wrong with this action as it is a great way to raise your vibration. Remember the Law of Attraction is matched to your vibrational frequency and your vibrational frequency is set by your emotions. Being grateful for something gives you a feeling of positive emotion  within you, which is a vibration at the higher end.

But, what if I told you that you could achieve a higher vibrational frequency. It’s a subtle difference, just replace gratitude with APPRECIATION. 

Gratitude vs Appreciation

If you were to look up the definition of gratitude you’d find it was the ‘quality of being thankful’ This definition and our interpretation tends to come with baggage; that the quality of being thankful has taken place after a struggle that you’ve overcome. There is a sense of fear that surrounds that struggle, that you should feel grateful for the good that has come to you. It has a sense of underserving or you are indebted to someone or something for all the good in your life. It is this feeling of baggage that changes the vibrational frequency to a lower one.

So let’s compare this with appreciation. The definition ‘is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something’. This instantly feels different. It allows us to focus on the good qualities of a person or thing  which immediately takes your vibrational frequency to the highest level.

Increasing the Value

By focusing on the good qualities of something or someone, it offers so much power; partly because appreciation is the identical vibration of love and joy.

Appreciation is more about a calling to be more of who you are whereas gratitude feels separate or external from you. 

Here are a few ways that you can incorporate being more appreciative within your life NOW.

1. The first thing I do before I fully wake up, is to spend a few minutes gifting myself with lots of reasons on why I feel appreciative in my life. This can range from a sunny day, a lie in, drinking an amazing cuppa in bed (such luxury), being paid on time from a client, anticipation for a new experience coming my way that day, healthy family etc. What better way than to start your day in a high vibrational frequency, ready to let the day enfold before you.

2. The last thing at night, before I drift off to sleep, I scan through the day and think of how I feel about my now. Running through all of the things that I am appreciative of; achieving that feeling of love and contentment before submitting to the end of the day should allow you to get a better night sleep. Hopefully this appeases any anxiety or fear that you may be feeling right now.

3. If I find that my energy is waining during the day I like to ‘level-up’ my frequency by doing a rampage of appreciation. You can do this anywhere, at any time. This is where you list as many things that you are appreciative of now (including past, present and future things yet to come). From the smallest to the largest thing that pops in to your head. This can be in the form of a mental download or in your journal. If you work at a computer, open up a word document and start listing, one after the other. The beauty with this is that it looks like you are working. Make sure you keep the document for next time. It’s great to look back on and reflect.

4. As mentioned above, being appreciative of things that have yet to come in to your world is one of the most important elements of Law of Attraction. For us to be in the same vibrational frequency for what we desire, we have to be at the same vibrational frequency of your chosen wish to be able to match it in the NOW. The easiest trick is to act, behave and believe as if it’s already in your possession. So be appreciative of the things that have yet to enter your life now so you are drawing them to you.

5. View the world from a different angle with no alternative motive. Removing any ulterior motive from our perception and consciousness gives us a feeling of a more panoramic view of our existing world. Having a motive has a tendency to close off and influence what we see, say and think. When you remove the intention or pre-determined outcome/look you are opening yourself up to seeing, hearing, experiencing new sensations etc. This openness and new appreciative perspective could quite literally open more doors to you. Who knows where this may lead you.

6. I hold my hands up and confess that I, like many others, have at one time or another disliked my body. When I realise that I have gone back in to this thought pattern I remind myself that my body is a working, fully functioning body that supports me and allows me to play, run and do many more things with my family and friends. I am appreciative of what it can do now and I shouldn’t get bogged down with how I look. When this flip in perception occurs my reflection in the mirror alters. I no longer see the bumps and curves that caused me ‘distress’ earlier felt.

7. Make sure you let people know what they mean to you. Whether this is in a text, phone call, letter, card, email or Skype. Never assume that they know. Tell them. Especially with everything that is going on, finding alternative ways of connecting with one another is important for our wellbeing avoiding isolation and loneliness. 

8. Appreciate the time we have been given and release the guilt of doing little. I struggled with this the other day. I desperately wanted to do nothing but stay in my pyjama’s and watch Netflix. So that is what I did. However, the feeling of guilt was lingering. I had to tell myself to allow this moment to happen and embrace it guilt free. Once I accepted that I didn’t need to be anywhere, there was nothing pressing for me to do I continued to binge watch ‘Love is Blind’.

These are just a few examples of how you can be more appreciative within your life. 

Have a go and feel the difference. You may even find that this new perspective of appreciation has a positive knock on effect on the people around us which can never be a bad thing at this moment in history.

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#18 What would your future self want you to know now?

And breathe…it feels like we are living in extraordinary times right now. Where the rules that we have lived by for so long have been thrown up in the air and re-shuffled to form a new world or reality. This does not have to mean doom and gloom.

This is history. 

We will look back to this moment and recall how we rallied around for one another, supporting, guiding, soothing, comforting and cheering from a safe 6 feet apart. How the absurdity of some people who felt the need to stock pile toilet tissue…of all things!

It feels like the Universe has pressed the re-set button. With the start of Spring officially here, where night and day are of equal length and the sun is gaining strength. It feels like the light is defeating the dark. It offers me hope, that the natural world is coming alive and that we have to allow the ebb and flow to occur and all will be well. I do have trust that what is thrown at us has a purpose and a reason. Whether we understand its true meaning is irrelevant.

At times like these, when people’s anxiety and fear is high and the news fuel’s rather than extinguishes people’s thoughts and emotions. I like to write a letter to my future self; whether this is 10 years from now, a year, a month or just a few days from now. I include things that I wish to accomplish, but I write it as if I have already completed it. From a place of knowing and certainty. Away from fear and self-doubt.

When you think of yourself in the future, you start to establish a relationship with that version of you. You are invested in that outcome because it is your path. 

You can be as practical as you want or need to be; if you want to write about pensions, your children’s education or future holiday plans then that’s where you penmanship takes you. 

Tap in to your imagination, because how we think, the thoughts that we have about ourselves helps us achieve what we want to achieve NOW. This is a great start for people who struggle with being imaginative or self-indulging. 

The key is, once you become aware of who you want to be, it is easier to connect with that reality in the NOW.

At times like this when things feel uncertain, we want to have a sense of control. This is a way of taking back the reins and tap in to what you really want from life. Remember, every thing is being shuffled around, this doesn’t need to be a negative. This letter could be a gateway to your next set of goals / to do list. 

There are two versions you could do.

1. Write a letter from future self (10/1 years from now) to your present self. 

Think about the circumstances, how old will you be? Children? Career? where are you Living? How much money are you earning?

What do you wish you had known 10 years ago to help you achieve what you wanted?

What does your life look like? How does it feel?

What have you achieved?

2. Write a letter from your present self to your future self.  

What can you learn from your present self to your future self?

This helps cement the relationship you have with your future self.

Affects the way that you treat yourself NOW.

If you have an amazing relationship with yourself in all of the time zones, you can create a wonderful life for yourself NOW.

This exercise allows us to step away from instant gratification (primitive brain reflex) and more towards self-control, actioning forward and trusting what is to come. 

The gifts and appreciation that we are giving ourselves ‘thank you for exercising and eating well, thank you for going back to night school etc.

You are the bridge right now from your past self to your future self.

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#17 De-clutter your negativity

There is no avoiding negativity, but we can get a handle on it. We need to invite more positivity into our lives, to do this we have to address the negativity.

I’m naturally a negative person. Which I know sounds a little strange coming from someone who advocates positive thinking. But I have learnt to be conscious in my everyday thoughts and be mindful of the words that I use to overcome my mind’s default setting of seeing the worse-case scenario in life. But I am far from perfect, of course there are times when my consciousness deviates and negativity slips out of my mouth like an unintended bottom burp. 

But It’s not our fault, right! We are naturally a negative nation. It’s part of our conversational DNA. We sing the song about the miserable weather, the terrible traffic or how manic our day has been like a pacifying nursery rhyme. We then turn on the news and rather than hear of all the good things with our world and society we are bombarded with he said/she said, disputes, disasters and death. 

A lot of this negativity is subtle. It appears without us even registering it. It’s sabotaging our thoughts and our results outside of our consciousness. So, for us to attract more positivity into our lives we need to first look at our negative patterns. 

Negativity can rear its head in a number of ways; you may find yourself saying these familiar phrases “that won’t work”, “I don’t like that”, “I don’t want to…”, “they said this/that”. 

You may find yourself being consumed by another person’s action, decision or emotion and complain about it? Do you feel that other people are going about their lives in the wrong way and you know better? Do you think there are toxic people? 

Unbeknown to us the very act of complaining of other people’s negativity is in fact negative. The Law of Attraction states, that where you place your focus is what you attract more of. Negativity attracts more negativity.

So how can we become more conscious of our thought process to ensure positivity shines through? 

By looking within. Recognising that we are in control over what our likes, our dislikes, desires and our reactions are to our external environment. 

We have a choice as to whether we voice them or not, because nothing is negative until we state it as so. There is no upside to focusing on negativity.

Top Tips when becoming more conscious

  • When we start to observe our thoughts, we need to be kind to ourselves — don’t beat yourself up because you realise that negativity is more prevalent than you had previously acknowledged. 
  • You need to separate the facts from thinking. Just because it feels true doesn’t make it true, this is down to our individual perception and belief. 
  • It doesn’t matter how another person shows up/behaves/talks as it isn’t on you to correct or comment, it’s on them — you will feel resistance to this feeling, let it pass.
  • Choose wisely what you say out loud, because how you decide to behave is 100% on you — allow time from thought to reaction.
  • Allow people to be themselves, without it affecting who you are as a person.
  • If you find yourself reacting to a particular person, imagine that what this person said or did was done by your best friend. Would you feel the same way?

With 2020 just days away and resolutions buzzing in our grey matter. Let’s give ourselves the best possible chance of success de-cluttering our negativity.

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#16 Daily pickles

For us to harness the true power of the Law of Attraction (of creating a life that we want to live), we have to add a little self-progression with a big dollop of self-awareness. I would like to share with you a scenario that you may be able to resonate with that happened to me a few weeks ago.

Cup of hot loose tea.

My morning was flowing beautifully. I awoke feeling energised, I had a cuppa with no interruptions (everyone else was asleep), a ran through my appreciation list that I was feeling that morning. Life was feeling good. I felt great. Three hours later, life looked and felt a little different. I had arranged a catch up with my sister at her house, taking my children with our mum also joining us. 

I’d awoken my daughter, who had gotten in to the habit of sleeping in, giving her 40 minutes to have breakfast and get dressed. She’d already assured me she was ‘ready’ but when it came to shouting “SHOES ON!” there was little movement. My son appeared from somewhere and dutifully did as he was told (which is rarely the norm). 

After many strained verbal toing and froing up and down the stairs between myself and my daughter, we we’re eventually all in the car, albeit 10 minutes later than I had wanted to and five minutes before we needed to be at my sister’s.

But we were off. Turned right at the end of my road to find I’d made a mistake as the traffic was horrendous; a three lane A-road was being filtered into just one. It was too late to reverse, I had to stick to my route. At this point my son decided to pipe up saying ‘I’m hungry’. Which triggered a thought. I’d left the kids snack but also the teabags that my sister had requested as her online shop hadn’t been delivered yet as she’d just returned from her holiday. “Not a problem, I’ll make a quick stop off at the shops” I say out loud, but internally my heart tenses. The issue is that I have picked up a reputation over the years for being late.  I say ‘I’ but more often that not the likelihood increases when I have kids or husband in tow.

A clock with the minutes spinning at speed.

As I’m running around the shop, grabbing items, I attempt to call my big sis to transfer blame, but no one answers. I throw my replacement items on the counter, plus a packet of ‘naughty’ biscuits for the adults to enjoy with their tea and rush back to the car. I start the engine and within seconds my phone rings. My daughter answers the call and puts it on speaker phone. My sister. I start cascading reasons why we are late like verbal vomit, when she interjects and says, that mum has locked herself out of her house and locked her keys in her car. Impressive! We giggle at mums’ expense. “Not to worry” I proclaim, I’m near her so I’ll swing by and pick her up. We disconnect, and then the car computer makes a ping noise, that I am familiar with. It’s another warning to tell me that the fuel is low. It did the same to me yesterday, but I didn’t have time then. Looking at the remaining mileage, it was now urgent. “Okay, not a problem” I hear myself say again, we are literally driving past a petrol station in 10 seconds let’s make a detour. I could feel myself at this point becoming more stressed. I start to get agitated and annoyed at silly things which is directed at other drivers on the road.

I fill up and then head inside to pay. The lady behind the cash desk shouts a number in my direction as I’m walking to the counter before I’ve even said which pump I’m at. The number isn’t familiar to me, if anything it’s more than I put in my tank. Another lady walks in to which the kiosk lady judged my facial expression and realised her mistake. As she has rung up the wrong pump could she let the lady who just walked in, pay first. I have no issues with this, but not ideal.

After paying and waiting an extraordinary amount of time for a receipt that I don’t need. The phone rings again, it’s my sister who has now become the go between. She says mum is now heading on foot to her local shops to buy biscuits. “No”, I seem to shout at the phone, “I have bought biscuits for us!”. My now secretary is calling our mum telling her to abort her sweet treat mission and head back to base.

No, written on a red background.

We set off again. My son decides to tell me, “when dad goes to the petrol station, he always buys something, like sweets”. Well, I think it’s fair to say that at this point I’ve had enough. No. I’m not going to buy sweets, after spending money on snacks and biscuits and tea bags, all of which I have at home. I have raised my voice. My daughter jumps to her younger brother’s defence and says, “he’s not asking for sweets mum, he’s just telling you what dad sometimes does”.

Darn, she is correct. And breath.

I apologise to them both and take more deep breaths whilst driving to my mums. I start to take a metaphorical step back within my head to allow space to appear to take stock.

I’m frustrated, that once again I am giving people more reasons to say that I am ‘always’ late. I’m angry with myself for allowing it to happen again. I feel guilty that rather than accept responsibility for the tardiness, I tried to place blame at my children’s feet. I’m annoyed, that despite my attempts to be organised and with setting myself reminders I still forgot the snacks and teabags that I left on the side, rather than put them directly in my bag that was waiting on the side. 

It’s starting to dawn on me that I can’t work against this force. I have to accept the barriers that I am creating for what they are. These are experiences to help me shift the behaviours that are making my life difficult. 

I’ll let mum deal with her own issues, as that I can’t help with. However, my lesson in that scenario is that I keep leaving my own bunch of ever-growing keys at home and just take my husbands with the car keys on. I’ve been ignoring my inner voice, which recently reminded me on several occasions about taking them with a “you’ll need them”. If I had taken them on this occasion, I would have been able to open up my mum’s front door, allowing her to get her spare car keys and take the item that my sister had asked her to bring that was now locked in her car.

We cram Nana in to the car and set off to our final destination. I glance at the clock and we are an embarrassing 28 minutes and counting late. 

Over a cup of tea we re-live, giggle and summarise with a “definitely, could do better” whilst munching on rather yummy biscuits. 

What’s the moral of my story? When our inner voice speaks, take note and action. We recognise our inner voice as it will repeat in different scenario’s the same succinct words. Our inner voice doesn’t need long sentences or paragraphs, two to four words will be enough to get the message across. All we need to do is listen and act on it. 

We need to allow time for self-awareness and observe our behaviours and emotions. These emotions are the gateway to setting our vibrational frequency that creates the energy that communicates with our universe, that ultimately creates the world you desire.  

Observing is the starting point but actively changing our behaviours based on our observations and connecting the dots between the situation and the preluding behaviours and outcome is how we can make a difference. 

My final lesson is always have a giggle. Laughing is an amazing lever to switch between two extreme moods in the shortest amount of time. You have to see the funny side to life and the situations we get ourselves in.  

So, what life lesson pickles have you got yourself in to lately?

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#15 Start moving your mountains

We all have our re-cycled thought patterns that stop us from believing that we are unable to do something or act a certain way. This has the ability to paralyse us, resulting in taking no action at all. 

No matter how big your mountain is, you can move it.

Whilst combining my knowledge and research on Law of Attraction writing workshops with the aim of aiding others to find their inner strength to make positive changes in their lives that will enable them to move their own mountains. However, I realised I had a few personal mountains of my own to shift first. Namely, the belief that weight loss wasn’t possible for me because I didn’t have the will power to reduce my sugar habit for more than 48 hours, or to make better choices in what I was energising my body with.  

The realisation of hypocrisy occurred to me­; how can I be expected to guide others when I hadn’t tackled my own blocks and resistances. So, I went about working through Positive Stream process and applied it to myself.

The battle isn’t with what we consume, it lies with our minds. Over the years our mind has built up stories, that have derived from a variety of sources. Dating as far back as our ancestors who have passed down ‘their wisdom’ to our parents, as well as the belief systems of our friends, and the interpretation of our experiences both positive and negative, have all left an imprint and formed our minds that end up driving our daily lives and decision making.

When your mind is playing repetitive commentary such as ‘you can’t do something’ you start to believe it as fact. It is, this battle with our minds that needs to addressed.

The minds sole function is to keep us safe. Over time The brain doesn’t distinguish between reality and thought (fact and fiction), what you believe in, is your version of reality and how you perceive the world is the window to your mind. Our minds start to look for evidence to sync up with the stories it tells us for reinforcement.

When we start to challenge our mind stories it starts to fight back. So we need to break the cycle.

For me I wanted to make myself feel worthy of the body image I had in my head, this perception was based on how I used to see myself reflected back but lost through age, pregnancies, sad times, and celebrating the good. 

I made small changes and giant leaps. I had moments of feeling uncomfortable, low moods, and even pain. But I sit before my computer screen now 100% happier in my skin, I look at my reflection with pride because I know that I achieved what I thought I would not be able to do on my own. 

I am in tune with my body. I am no longer battling against my mind and its stories as I have re-written them. I know what my body needs to feel nourished and energised. I know the sensation of over indulgence and to recognise that I don’t have to continue down that path. In the past I would have succumbed to a food urge to handle an emotion and then be overcome with guilt and failure. I would then give up on my mission and I’d be back to square one. 

I read somewhere at the beginning of this journey that you are going to feel ‘uncomfortable’. Whether you are uncomfortable in clothes that are becoming too tight; uncomfortable with emotions such as guilt and self-loathing over the food you have just consumed; or uncomfortable in perceived hunger or lack of sugary foods. Either way you are going to feel uncomfortable. The difference is, is that the latter feeling is getting you closer towards your goal. 

Once I acknowledged that when I was feeling uncomfortable, it was an opportunity to challenge my mind and take back control of my body. I accepted the cravings I was feeling, sat with it for 10 minutes and acknowledge them with a marble in a jar that represented me conquering my cravings. With this new found control I was more receptive to educating myself on what constituted a nutritional diet and incorporating exercise I enjoyed. 

To help tackle my negative mind stories, I found strength from watching, reading and listening to inspirational stories. The stories varied in context, but the theme was consistent. That no matter what life throws at you, regardless of the odds, when you put your belief in something you wanted 100% you will always produce positive results. When you are surrounding yourself with this content it’s hard not to get your ‘head in the game’ to make better choices for yourself.  

To help me visualise, I dug out a photo from when I last felt the way I wanted to feel now, this was proof, that this version of reality can exist within me. When I looked at the photo, I remembered exactly how I felt at that time. I then propelled that feeling from the past to my present. This mind transformation was the most powerful pivotal point. I was that person in my mind which allowed me to walk straighter, head held higher, and what I saw in my reflection changed even before I started seeing results on the scales. 

The combination of observing others with ‘can do’ attitude and living the reality that I wanted now, gave me solid foundations in pathing the way to make long term changes to my health and wellbeing. The building blocks of food and exercise came afterwards. 

I found exercise kept me motivated and in control of my thoughts in a truly positive way.

I found that I genuinely loved exercising—the rush of endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine and adrenalin was exhilarating. I could feel and see my body becoming physically stronger, and mentally capable as I started to challenge myself more. This was fuelling my mind stories in a more positive direction. 

Everything became so much easier. Food choices were simple, I no longer had the battle with sugar because my body and taste buds had changed. I went from being a ‘3 teaspoons of sugar girl’ in my coffee to none at all. I stopped craving chocolate, cakes and high starch food because my body no longer craved it. I replaced it with high value protein and fresh vegetables, fruits and healthy fats that kept me energised for longer.

By making small changes, I had synchronised my thoughts regarding food with the description that I wanted of myself. I re-wrote my mind stories and created the version that reinforced the reality I wanted. 

Along the way I have kept a journal, I write my thoughts, feelings and measurements down. When my old mind stories reared their head in the form of cravings, I pick up my journal and re-read the first few pages on how I used to feel. This has been invaluable, as I need a reminder of who I was and who I wanted to be. This is usually enough to keep me making the healthier decision.

I am no saint. If I want to indulge then I do so. I enjoy the moment and then continue on my journey in making healthier decisions. I don’t dwell, I don’t feel guilty and continue onwards.

My mountain started to move when I changed the way I thought and challenged my mind stories. I created a vision and lived that life as if it’s already been achieved. With Law of Attraction we communicate with our universe through the emotions that we feel, these feelings are triggered 100% by our thoughts. Be mindful of what you think, because the universe will always answer your requests.

Start to move your mountains by changing your thoughts.

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#14 Nowhere else, I want to be, but here!

Time has become our enemy. We fight it, spend it, race it, trick it, waste it, leverage with it and organise it down to the second. This list is endless on how we attempt to manipulate our time. But the fact is ‘time’ is a man-made concept1that helps us organise our day but has somehow dictated our whole being. 

We surround ourselves with clocks. We wear watches, exercise trackers, mobile phones. We are never far away from a clock. With our over reliance on time keeping it influences us in more ways than one. We strive to move forward at an increasingly fast pace with a desire to achieve things at warp speed; and we wonder why we reach burn out!

We have our own internal body clock called the circadian rhythm. The suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) is a tiny region of the brain located within the hypothalamus, that is situated directly above the optic chiasm. It’s responsible for controlling the circadian rhythms. As a side note I have fond memories of walking down the aisle as my sister’s bridesmaid twenty odd years ago doing my best not to be overwhelmed by the situation. To help me with this task I started to revise for my neuropsychology exam that was due a week later that included the SCN. I was also a huge fan of sleep in my early teens. My mum even took me to the doctors as I slept so much! The SCN regulates our sleep/wake cycle. There have been numerous experiments regarding the effect of the removal of sensory triggers that we have come to rely on to help us regulate this cycle; namely natural light and the removal of all clocks. Under these conditions the body at first regulates well and ‘keeps’ relatively well to time however the longer the period of sensory deprivation (i.e. limited light) the longer the distortion in regulating time as well as an increase in depressive mood states. There is also a reduction in cognitive function and responsiveness to tasks.2It’s worth noting that our body will maintain a routine of some sort, however, it’s not necessarily to our 24-hour cycle. Does this suggest that our internal circadian rhythm cycle is different from our man-made version?  

We seem to be more inpatient with the pace of life. Demanding things arrive earlier or be achieved faster. Advances in technology help and hinder us. They pray on our desires to live a sped-up life. If we want something, it’s at the touch of a button. 

On top of all that we are then faced with our own routines that help us keep track of time. I hold my hands up high and admit that I love a routine. I lay credit to a well-known baby book that helped me establish a routine to navigate my daughters first year of life. Routine gives us the feeling of having life under control.3That we are in control of our lives. However, there are downsides to controlling our time so rigidly. It can make us feel stifling, controlled, with an ironic twist of making us feel a lack of time. Our minds can be distracted with past events and future plans. We rarely take the time to live in the ‘now’.

Fur baby wanting to come along for the ride.

Time came to a head for me a couple of weeks ago when my husband and I were going away to Italy to celebrate a significant birthday of mine. Leading up to it, I admit I was getting stressed. I had to arrange and organise two children and a dog, which seemed to require the best part of family and friends. To top it off my highly sensitive fur baby was becoming stressed when I was packing so a trip to the vets was added in to the mix. My life stopped as I knew it and in its place was a continuous mini count down. Now usually in times of stress, as a life coach I would advocate breaking down life’s drama’s in to small bite sized nuggets that will stress you out less. However, it felt the reverse for me. It became a myriad of time-based questions: What time are we dropping kids off? Is there time to go to the vets? How long does it take to drive to the airport? What time shall we leave? What time does check in close? Will we have any time to eat at the airport? How far away is the car park and how long is the transfer to the airport? How long is the flight? What time are we picking the car up? How long is the drive to our house? It was mentally exhausting. Ten hours after leaving our house we arrived in Northern Italy in a mountain village which required 3 km hairpin track in the dark! We then realised that we were rather remote and only had two cookies between us. There was one restaurant that was fully booked as it was international women’s day. The restaurant and B&B staff’s kindness and generosity were remarkable they didn’t need to take two tired strangers whose Italian was beyond poor, but they did. They gave us bread and puchitto ham and we bought a bottle of wine to take back to the house. It was one of the tastiest meals; potentially due to how hungry we were but also, we were taken aback as to their eagerness to help us. 

One of our views from the balcony

The following day, when the sun rose, we realised what surrounded us. The panoramic mountain vista was breath taking. We could see Chiavenna town below us. We realised then how remote our mountain village of Pianazzola was. The stone cottages were built so close to one another that the cobbled alleyways created a maze and the chimney on top of top of slated roofs created a beautiful base frame to our view. You could hear the villagers starting their daily routines of bringing in the fire wood, thrashing their rugs outside and chatting with one another. All against the backdrop of the aroma of fresh coffee being brewed. But what was truly deafening was the silence. 

We drove down the mountain road to Chiavenna to take a look around and get a bite to eat; now, this implies that it was a delightful journey, but I’m not going to lie to you, I am a terrible passenger. It comes to light that I am even worse when I’m up high and putting my life in the hands of my husbands driving skills going down and around hairpin turns. What’s worse is that the local, in their beaten-up Panda’s and tractors…yes tractors, navigate up and down the mountain with remarkable speed and annoying skill. We made it safety down in one piece but a little frazzled. I am pleased to report that I learnt to trust my husband’s spatial awareness and leave him to it by the end of our stay. Our marriage still intact.

By lunch time we had found a Crotti restaurant, which wasn’t our first choice but as it turned out was perfect for us and clearly meant to be. Law of Attraction clearly working for us. With our taste buds satisfied and our stomachs full we went to explore. The Italians really do have the work/life balance sorted. When we first entered Chiavenna it was bustling with people, all chilling out drinking coffee enjoying the early March sunshine and socialising. By the time we walked back through it was deserted. The Italians don’t work against the natural biorhythms. Majority of café’s, shops and museums close for their Riposa.4We headed back to the house as all I wanted to do was to sit on the balcony and enjoy the views and read my book. This is when for me time stopped. It no longer existed. That amazing feeling continued in to Sunday. It felt like the longest of days. I stopped thinking about what needed to be done in the future, or the consequences of what had happened in the past. All I cared about was staring at the ever-changing mountains and listening to the silence. I was 100% present in my now and time stood still. There was nowhere else, that I wanted to be, but here. 

Yes, I was missing the kids, but we’d checked in with them and I knew they were having fun and were safe. They didn’t need my attention. We drank coffee, read and watched the world go by at the most glorious of paces. Every now and then by accident I would see the clock on my phone and I registered the time with utter astonishment. What was truly lovely is that my husband was able to settle. He struggles with stillness (although he has been learning to meditate with the app Calm) and hasn’t read a book or magazine in the past 12 years. Our children once asked him if he could read, as they would see me read all the time but never him! He read a magazine that he had bought in July 2018 which still had the wrapper on and he started reading a book. 

We went to explore Pianazzola and found a beautiful spot that had a flowing water trough and bench where we could just sit and gaze at the trees or snow topped mountains whilst listening to the trickling water taking deep lung full of breaths whilst we both meditated. Blissful. 

It felt like a rude awakening when on Monday we had to start thinking of time again. I do confess to being rather put out about this and resented the conversation relating to time. I did succumb in the end to agree on a time to leave and start the reverse process of returning home back to ‘time’.

I love Eckhart Tolle5stance of time that is worth adopting ‘End the delusion of time. Time and mind are inseparable. Remove time from the mind and it stops – unless you choose to use it. To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honour and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfilment in whatever form. Both are illusions.’ 

What Eckhart is saying is that time is an illusion of our mind, and our mind can be so consumed by past events and things that could happen that it takes us away from being in the now and enjoying the present. As he says,‘there is never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be’. In a practical sense Eckhart refers to this as ‘clock time’ he says it’s okay to think about the future as in making plans for an event or appointment, but put it in the diary, or on paper but immediately return to the present moment.

So let’s not wish our lives away. Take your watch off and see how it feels. Allow yourself the time to be in your now. There is no other place you should be living. If this is a struggle evaluate your diary. What are you agreeing to that is taking up your time? Are you achieving a balance? Be consciously aware of when your thoughts start to migrate both in the past or to the future and ping them back to your now. Give yourself the best present by being 100% present.  

1The concept of time occurred approximately 2000BC; with the Egyptians introducing the concept of two 12-hour split time phases. The introduction of mechanical clocks was introduced in the 14thcentury. 

2There are lots of studies that I could reference here however, the this programme highlights the points beautifullyHorizon: Body Clock: What makes us tick?Originally aired BBC2 Thursday 11 October 2018. Due to air again: 1 April 2019 BBC 2 23:15

3Empowering habits are different, also known as ‘Miracle Morning routines’. These can include meditation, exercise, journaling, mantra, rituals of having a cup of tea or coffee, how we shower, clean our teeth (i.e. use your non-dominate hand, it wakes your brain up). 

4Riposa is the same as the Spanish Siesta.

5Tolle Eckhart. 2005, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Page 40-41

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#13 A forced break!

A couple of weeks ago I had flu. In the past I thought I’d suffered with it but oh how wrong was I! I was quite pathetic in all honesty. I actually blamed it on a yoga session I had gone to at first. All my joints had been popped, stretched and released which actually felt lovely and I came away from the session feeling mellow and ‘one’ with my body. But by the evening I was shattered and aching from every joint in my body. But I put it down to yoga and carried on the best I could the following day. But I kept laying down whenever and wherever I could. 

I finally stopped resisting the feeling, when early evening arrived, I took myself to my bed and didn’t move much that week. I’m not going to lie to you I indulged in Netflix, * podcasts and reading galore. Yes, my body was in pain but my mind, although tiring quickly was active enough for the need to be entertained. It certainly wasn’t guilt free. I listened to my family around me as they continued on with their day, occasionally checking in with me. My husband was amazing, I only felt the need to intervene once, which is quite an improvement for me! Or a sign of how unwell I felt. I was also introduced to a new sensation of not being hungry. On any given day my conscious and subconscious is 80% occupied with food; ‘What am I going to eat?’ ‘When am I eating next?’ etc. So, it was a new sensation not wanting to eat, my taste buds were shot but it was nice to not be consumed by thoughts of food.

The previous week I had attended a meditation workshop evening. So, I put my time to good use and listened to soothing music and practiced deep breathing and even tapping on my forehead and areas of pain with the aim of ‘tapping the pain away’. I focused my thoughts on healing myself, allowing the remaining energy that I had within me to be directed to healing from the inside out…this resulted in a lot of sweating! However, it worked wonders. When I centred on my breathing and connected with the music, I felt different. I felt aligned, to the point where it felt like I’d had an hour session of reiki. Which for me has always been a powerful sensation, my world literally spins from the third eye. I’m convinced that what I did contributed to speeding up the healing process.

But I’m not going to lie, last week I had days of feeling sorry for myself and I confess to having a couple of naps after work. It’s taken me a further week to feel back to full health. Having flu is not an illness I wish to be subjected to again, but I can’t deny that indulging in mediation, tapping, rest with peace and quiet is something I haven’t experienced for an extended period of time for a very long time; before children, being the last time. It was truly incredible. But not for another ten years please!

*I can recommend The Staircase, Workin’ Moms, Heal, In Defence of Food, Dumplin, The Keepers, 

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#12 The Law of Attraction part 1

Welcome my friend, I thought it was about time I wrote about the Law of Attraction and the key principles. I’ll spread it over a few blogs, but I hope part one makes you think and excites you to know more.

Law of Attraction (LoA) is no secret. It has however, become a forgotten way of thinking and feeling. Over the years our minds have become cluttered with thoughts, emotions, information and ‘other excess baggage’. That over time has quietened our ability to tap in to our inner being; our frequency.

LoA is not a belief system, nor is it a religious movement. It is all encompassing and actually sits rather comfortably across every known religion with no conflict. It’s not about money or wanting to have materialistic ‘things’ in your life.

So, if it’s not the above then what is it? It is a universal law. Now, don’t switch off because you think I’ve gone in to ‘woo woo’ mode, but bear with me. Another universal law which you could compare it to is gravity. We very rarely think about gravity, nor question its existence. It just is. 

It’s meta physics and quantum physics. We can delve into the smallest subatomic particles of life to help us understand our existence and our reality to help explain the ‘workings’ of LoA.  

LoA is operating whether you are harnessing the power of it to your advantage or not. So why wouldn’t you want to learn more about it, if it can help us feel joy?

LoA works at the level of our vibrational frequency. Our vibrational frequency ISyour emotional state of being, in other words the ‘mood’ that you feel. If we use the analogy of an old style radio that needs to be tuned in to the correct frequency to listen to a specific station. Your emotional state isthe tuning dial. LoA works on the same principles, your universe (the world around you) matches to your vibrational (emotional) state. 

Our vibrational frequency (emotional state) can be ‘tuned’ like an old style radio

To change your vibrational frequency you need your feelings to marry up with your thoughts. The most common phrase associated with LoA is ‘like attracts like’

So how do we go about managing this?

By remembering that our thoughts create our emotions that drive our actions which sets our vibrational frequency. If like attracts like, what are you attracting? You can check the frequency you are at, by looking around you. What are you currently manifesting? Are you happy? Are things going in the direction you want them to go? Are you in a state of wanting more? Never satisfied with what you have? Or living too far in to the future or past? 

Have you ever woken up in the morning and despite your ‘best efforts’ one thing after the other goes wrong? We often proclaim ‘could it get any worse?’ and more often than not, as the day progresses it does get worse. This is LoA working, but in the negative sense. Remember, you are attracting what your vibrational frequency is at.

The funny thing is, we are more accustomed to viewing our world in this way. We jeer ourselves along with mantra’s such as ‘nothing is easy’, ‘you appreciate things more when you work hard to get them’, or ‘life is a trial’. We are conditioned from a young age that nothing is easy, that hard work will eventually provide us with a positive reward. But life doesn’t and shouldn’t be so difficult. 

Remember that our thoughts have the ability to control our reality and our emotions physically affect our energy frequency that we are in. So we need to flip our vision around. If we think about what could happen in a positive sense and truly believe this version of reality then we are inviting it into our lives. 

This time of year we are surrounded by new year’s resolutions. We are told that if we make a goal we need to be accountable and take ownership of it. To share it with others. But the truth is, if we want to truly change we have to change the way we feel, change the way we think, and change the stories we tell ourselves which WILL change your everyday.

No one else can think your thoughts for you. No one can feel them as you would feel them. Change the cycle but learning something different for 2019.

If you want to learn more about the Law of Attraction and how you can use it to create a life you’ve only imagined, join me in my workshops for practical applications and start your journey in to self-reflection now. 

I’d love to hear from you and put you on the waiting list for the up and coming workshops. Say ‘hello’ and email me at caroline@positivestream.life

#11 Would you want your 5 year old self making decisions for you as an adult?

In any given day of any week, month or year we process roughly 60,000 thoughts. But only 1,000 of these thoughts are new. That’s a staggering 98.33% of our consciousness replaying the same scenario’s, memories, stories, ideas and thought patterns internally.

Without us realising it, we are running our lives operating out of the mental architecture of our ancestors which is out dated and distorted over generations. They become the basis of our knee jerk conditioning and automatic behaviours that we learnt before the age of 5 years old.  It’s a horrifying thought that our adult lives are being dictated by our 5 year old selves!

Now, I am not saying that all passed downloaded intel is obsolete. We need to know right from wrong and how to stay safe. What I am referring to is the build-up of negative thought patterns that have been based on other people’s fears, self-beliefs, opinions, situations or economic climate. It can be difficult to identify what is solely our thought or something we’ve unconsciously ‘picked up’ along the way.

As humans we tend to decide in advance how we are going to experience life, that we end up choosing what we want to see. The potential is infinite, if only we would allow it.

Being aware of our thought database is the key. It is completely possible to re-wire our thought patterns from negative to positive which would ultimately have more relevance to our lives that we want to be living.

So how can we do this?

  • First we need to get over our grudge against the world and choose to see things differently. Devote more to what we want to see rather than what we don’t want to see.
  • Be conscious of the current thoughts that pop in to our head. Where do they fit on the spectrum of positive / negative? Are they based on your reality or someone else’s past?
  • Push aside negative thoughts and replace with a positive ones.
  • Live in the now. Yes, we can gain perspective and understanding from our past experiences but how is that going to influence your now? It’s the same thinking too far ahead in to the future. Be present.
  • Stop labelling things as ‘to difficult’, ‘it’s always been this way’ start exploring alternative narratives ‘this could be fun’, ‘I haven’t done this before’, ‘I wonder what would happen if I tried it this way?’
  • Stop thinking you know it all. This outlook only closes doors rather than open new possibilities.
  • Tune in to what you want from life and believe it will happen, because our mind is truly powerful, that it can create something ‘outside’ itself to be more powerful.
  • Practice makes perfect. Start small, see and feel the difference.
  • Be grateful for the small things in life and let people know that you appreciate them but expect nothing in return.
  • Record your mind journey, so you can acknowledge the changes that you are feeling and track your perspective on life.

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