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#16 Daily pickles

For us to harness the true power of the Law of Attraction (of creating a life that we want to live), we have to add a little self-progression with a big dollop of self-awareness. I would like to share with you a scenario that you may be able to resonate with that happened to me a few weeks ago.

Cup of hot loose tea.

My morning was flowing beautifully. I awoke feeling energised, I had a cuppa with no interruptions (everyone else was asleep), a ran through my appreciation list that I was feeling that morning. Life was feeling good. I felt great. Three hours later, life looked and felt a little different. I had arranged a catch up with my sister at her house, taking my children with our mum also joining us. 

I’d awoken my daughter, who had gotten in to the habit of sleeping in, giving her 40 minutes to have breakfast and get dressed. She’d already assured me she was ‘ready’ but when it came to shouting “SHOES ON!” there was little movement. My son appeared from somewhere and dutifully did as he was told (which is rarely the norm). 

After many strained verbal toing and froing up and down the stairs between myself and my daughter, we we’re eventually all in the car, albeit 10 minutes later than I had wanted to and five minutes before we needed to be at my sister’s.

But we were off. Turned right at the end of my road to find I’d made a mistake as the traffic was horrendous; a three lane A-road was being filtered into just one. It was too late to reverse, I had to stick to my route. At this point my son decided to pipe up saying ‘I’m hungry’. Which triggered a thought. I’d left the kids snack but also the teabags that my sister had requested as her online shop hadn’t been delivered yet as she’d just returned from her holiday. “Not a problem, I’ll make a quick stop off at the shops” I say out loud, but internally my heart tenses. The issue is that I have picked up a reputation over the years for being late.  I say ‘I’ but more often that not the likelihood increases when I have kids or husband in tow.

A clock with the minutes spinning at speed.

As I’m running around the shop, grabbing items, I attempt to call my big sis to transfer blame, but no one answers. I throw my replacement items on the counter, plus a packet of ‘naughty’ biscuits for the adults to enjoy with their tea and rush back to the car. I start the engine and within seconds my phone rings. My daughter answers the call and puts it on speaker phone. My sister. I start cascading reasons why we are late like verbal vomit, when she interjects and says, that mum has locked herself out of her house and locked her keys in her car. Impressive! We giggle at mums’ expense. “Not to worry” I proclaim, I’m near her so I’ll swing by and pick her up. We disconnect, and then the car computer makes a ping noise, that I am familiar with. It’s another warning to tell me that the fuel is low. It did the same to me yesterday, but I didn’t have time then. Looking at the remaining mileage, it was now urgent. “Okay, not a problem” I hear myself say again, we are literally driving past a petrol station in 10 seconds let’s make a detour. I could feel myself at this point becoming more stressed. I start to get agitated and annoyed at silly things which is directed at other drivers on the road.

I fill up and then head inside to pay. The lady behind the cash desk shouts a number in my direction as I’m walking to the counter before I’ve even said which pump I’m at. The number isn’t familiar to me, if anything it’s more than I put in my tank. Another lady walks in to which the kiosk lady judged my facial expression and realised her mistake. As she has rung up the wrong pump could she let the lady who just walked in, pay first. I have no issues with this, but not ideal.

After paying and waiting an extraordinary amount of time for a receipt that I don’t need. The phone rings again, it’s my sister who has now become the go between. She says mum is now heading on foot to her local shops to buy biscuits. “No”, I seem to shout at the phone, “I have bought biscuits for us!”. My now secretary is calling our mum telling her to abort her sweet treat mission and head back to base.

No, written on a red background.

We set off again. My son decides to tell me, “when dad goes to the petrol station, he always buys something, like sweets”. Well, I think it’s fair to say that at this point I’ve had enough. No. I’m not going to buy sweets, after spending money on snacks and biscuits and tea bags, all of which I have at home. I have raised my voice. My daughter jumps to her younger brother’s defence and says, “he’s not asking for sweets mum, he’s just telling you what dad sometimes does”.

Darn, she is correct. And breath.

I apologise to them both and take more deep breaths whilst driving to my mums. I start to take a metaphorical step back within my head to allow space to appear to take stock.

I’m frustrated, that once again I am giving people more reasons to say that I am ‘always’ late. I’m angry with myself for allowing it to happen again. I feel guilty that rather than accept responsibility for the tardiness, I tried to place blame at my children’s feet. I’m annoyed, that despite my attempts to be organised and with setting myself reminders I still forgot the snacks and teabags that I left on the side, rather than put them directly in my bag that was waiting on the side. 

It’s starting to dawn on me that I can’t work against this force. I have to accept the barriers that I am creating for what they are. These are experiences to help me shift the behaviours that are making my life difficult. 

I’ll let mum deal with her own issues, as that I can’t help with. However, my lesson in that scenario is that I keep leaving my own bunch of ever-growing keys at home and just take my husbands with the car keys on. I’ve been ignoring my inner voice, which recently reminded me on several occasions about taking them with a “you’ll need them”. If I had taken them on this occasion, I would have been able to open up my mum’s front door, allowing her to get her spare car keys and take the item that my sister had asked her to bring that was now locked in her car.

We cram Nana in to the car and set off to our final destination. I glance at the clock and we are an embarrassing 28 minutes and counting late. 

Over a cup of tea we re-live, giggle and summarise with a “definitely, could do better” whilst munching on rather yummy biscuits. 

What’s the moral of my story? When our inner voice speaks, take note and action. We recognise our inner voice as it will repeat in different scenario’s the same succinct words. Our inner voice doesn’t need long sentences or paragraphs, two to four words will be enough to get the message across. All we need to do is listen and act on it. 

We need to allow time for self-awareness and observe our behaviours and emotions. These emotions are the gateway to setting our vibrational frequency that creates the energy that communicates with our universe, that ultimately creates the world you desire.  

Observing is the starting point but actively changing our behaviours based on our observations and connecting the dots between the situation and the preluding behaviours and outcome is how we can make a difference. 

My final lesson is always have a giggle. Laughing is an amazing lever to switch between two extreme moods in the shortest amount of time. You have to see the funny side to life and the situations we get ourselves in.  

So, what life lesson pickles have you got yourself in to lately?

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#15 Start moving your mountains

We all have our re-cycled thought patterns that stop us from believing that we are unable to do something or act a certain way. This has the ability to paralyse us, resulting in taking no action at all. 

No matter how big your mountain is, you can move it.

Whilst combining my knowledge and research on Law of Attraction writing workshops with the aim of aiding others to find their inner strength to make positive changes in their lives that will enable them to move their own mountains. However, I realised I had a few personal mountains of my own to shift first. Namely, the belief that weight loss wasn’t possible for me because I didn’t have the will power to reduce my sugar habit for more than 48 hours, or to make better choices in what I was energising my body with.  

The realisation of hypocrisy occurred to me­; how can I be expected to guide others when I hadn’t tackled my own blocks and resistances. So, I went about working through Positive Stream process and applied it to myself.

The battle isn’t with what we consume, it lies with our minds. Over the years our mind has built up stories, that have derived from a variety of sources. Dating as far back as our ancestors who have passed down ‘their wisdom’ to our parents, as well as the belief systems of our friends, and the interpretation of our experiences both positive and negative, have all left an imprint and formed our minds that end up driving our daily lives and decision making.

When your mind is playing repetitive commentary such as ‘you can’t do something’ you start to believe it as fact. It is, this battle with our minds that needs to addressed.

The minds sole function is to keep us safe. Over time The brain doesn’t distinguish between reality and thought (fact and fiction), what you believe in, is your version of reality and how you perceive the world is the window to your mind. Our minds start to look for evidence to sync up with the stories it tells us for reinforcement.

When we start to challenge our mind stories it starts to fight back. So we need to break the cycle.

For me I wanted to make myself feel worthy of the body image I had in my head, this perception was based on how I used to see myself reflected back but lost through age, pregnancies, sad times, and celebrating the good. 

I made small changes and giant leaps. I had moments of feeling uncomfortable, low moods, and even pain. But I sit before my computer screen now 100% happier in my skin, I look at my reflection with pride because I know that I achieved what I thought I would not be able to do on my own. 

I am in tune with my body. I am no longer battling against my mind and its stories as I have re-written them. I know what my body needs to feel nourished and energised. I know the sensation of over indulgence and to recognise that I don’t have to continue down that path. In the past I would have succumbed to a food urge to handle an emotion and then be overcome with guilt and failure. I would then give up on my mission and I’d be back to square one. 

I read somewhere at the beginning of this journey that you are going to feel ‘uncomfortable’. Whether you are uncomfortable in clothes that are becoming too tight; uncomfortable with emotions such as guilt and self-loathing over the food you have just consumed; or uncomfortable in perceived hunger or lack of sugary foods. Either way you are going to feel uncomfortable. The difference is, is that the latter feeling is getting you closer towards your goal. 

Once I acknowledged that when I was feeling uncomfortable, it was an opportunity to challenge my mind and take back control of my body. I accepted the cravings I was feeling, sat with it for 10 minutes and acknowledge them with a marble in a jar that represented me conquering my cravings. With this new found control I was more receptive to educating myself on what constituted a nutritional diet and incorporating exercise I enjoyed. 

To help tackle my negative mind stories, I found strength from watching, reading and listening to inspirational stories. The stories varied in context, but the theme was consistent. That no matter what life throws at you, regardless of the odds, when you put your belief in something you wanted 100% you will always produce positive results. When you are surrounding yourself with this content it’s hard not to get your ‘head in the game’ to make better choices for yourself.  

To help me visualise, I dug out a photo from when I last felt the way I wanted to feel now, this was proof, that this version of reality can exist within me. When I looked at the photo, I remembered exactly how I felt at that time. I then propelled that feeling from the past to my present. This mind transformation was the most powerful pivotal point. I was that person in my mind which allowed me to walk straighter, head held higher, and what I saw in my reflection changed even before I started seeing results on the scales. 

The combination of observing others with ‘can do’ attitude and living the reality that I wanted now, gave me solid foundations in pathing the way to make long term changes to my health and wellbeing. The building blocks of food and exercise came afterwards. 

I found exercise kept me motivated and in control of my thoughts in a truly positive way.

I found that I genuinely loved exercising—the rush of endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine and adrenalin was exhilarating. I could feel and see my body becoming physically stronger, and mentally capable as I started to challenge myself more. This was fuelling my mind stories in a more positive direction. 

Everything became so much easier. Food choices were simple, I no longer had the battle with sugar because my body and taste buds had changed. I went from being a ‘3 teaspoons of sugar girl’ in my coffee to none at all. I stopped craving chocolate, cakes and high starch food because my body no longer craved it. I replaced it with high value protein and fresh vegetables, fruits and healthy fats that kept me energised for longer.

By making small changes, I had synchronised my thoughts regarding food with the description that I wanted of myself. I re-wrote my mind stories and created the version that reinforced the reality I wanted. 

Along the way I have kept a journal, I write my thoughts, feelings and measurements down. When my old mind stories reared their head in the form of cravings, I pick up my journal and re-read the first few pages on how I used to feel. This has been invaluable, as I need a reminder of who I was and who I wanted to be. This is usually enough to keep me making the healthier decision.

I am no saint. If I want to indulge then I do so. I enjoy the moment and then continue on my journey in making healthier decisions. I don’t dwell, I don’t feel guilty and continue onwards.

My mountain started to move when I changed the way I thought and challenged my mind stories. I created a vision and lived that life as if it’s already been achieved. With Law of Attraction we communicate with our universe through the emotions that we feel, these feelings are triggered 100% by our thoughts. Be mindful of what you think, because the universe will always answer your requests.

Start to move your mountains by changing your thoughts.

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#14 Nowhere else, I want to be, but here!

Time has become our enemy. We fight it, spend it, race it, trick it, waste it, leverage with it and organise it down to the second. This list is endless on how we attempt to manipulate our time. But the fact is ‘time’ is a man-made concept1that helps us organise our day but has somehow dictated our whole being. 

We surround ourselves with clocks. We wear watches, exercise trackers, mobile phones. We are never far away from a clock. With our over reliance on time keeping it influences us in more ways than one. We strive to move forward at an increasingly fast pace with a desire to achieve things at warp speed; and we wonder why we reach burn out!

We have our own internal body clock called the circadian rhythm. The suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) is a tiny region of the brain located within the hypothalamus, that is situated directly above the optic chiasm. It’s responsible for controlling the circadian rhythms. As a side note I have fond memories of walking down the aisle as my sister’s bridesmaid twenty odd years ago doing my best not to be overwhelmed by the situation. To help me with this task I started to revise for my neuropsychology exam that was due a week later that included the SCN. I was also a huge fan of sleep in my early teens. My mum even took me to the doctors as I slept so much! The SCN regulates our sleep/wake cycle. There have been numerous experiments regarding the effect of the removal of sensory triggers that we have come to rely on to help us regulate this cycle; namely natural light and the removal of all clocks. Under these conditions the body at first regulates well and ‘keeps’ relatively well to time however the longer the period of sensory deprivation (i.e. limited light) the longer the distortion in regulating time as well as an increase in depressive mood states. There is also a reduction in cognitive function and responsiveness to tasks.2It’s worth noting that our body will maintain a routine of some sort, however, it’s not necessarily to our 24-hour cycle. Does this suggest that our internal circadian rhythm cycle is different from our man-made version?  

We seem to be more inpatient with the pace of life. Demanding things arrive earlier or be achieved faster. Advances in technology help and hinder us. They pray on our desires to live a sped-up life. If we want something, it’s at the touch of a button. 

On top of all that we are then faced with our own routines that help us keep track of time. I hold my hands up high and admit that I love a routine. I lay credit to a well-known baby book that helped me establish a routine to navigate my daughters first year of life. Routine gives us the feeling of having life under control.3That we are in control of our lives. However, there are downsides to controlling our time so rigidly. It can make us feel stifling, controlled, with an ironic twist of making us feel a lack of time. Our minds can be distracted with past events and future plans. We rarely take the time to live in the ‘now’.

Fur baby wanting to come along for the ride.

Time came to a head for me a couple of weeks ago when my husband and I were going away to Italy to celebrate a significant birthday of mine. Leading up to it, I admit I was getting stressed. I had to arrange and organise two children and a dog, which seemed to require the best part of family and friends. To top it off my highly sensitive fur baby was becoming stressed when I was packing so a trip to the vets was added in to the mix. My life stopped as I knew it and in its place was a continuous mini count down. Now usually in times of stress, as a life coach I would advocate breaking down life’s drama’s in to small bite sized nuggets that will stress you out less. However, it felt the reverse for me. It became a myriad of time-based questions: What time are we dropping kids off? Is there time to go to the vets? How long does it take to drive to the airport? What time shall we leave? What time does check in close? Will we have any time to eat at the airport? How far away is the car park and how long is the transfer to the airport? How long is the flight? What time are we picking the car up? How long is the drive to our house? It was mentally exhausting. Ten hours after leaving our house we arrived in Northern Italy in a mountain village which required 3 km hairpin track in the dark! We then realised that we were rather remote and only had two cookies between us. There was one restaurant that was fully booked as it was international women’s day. The restaurant and B&B staff’s kindness and generosity were remarkable they didn’t need to take two tired strangers whose Italian was beyond poor, but they did. They gave us bread and puchitto ham and we bought a bottle of wine to take back to the house. It was one of the tastiest meals; potentially due to how hungry we were but also, we were taken aback as to their eagerness to help us. 

One of our views from the balcony

The following day, when the sun rose, we realised what surrounded us. The panoramic mountain vista was breath taking. We could see Chiavenna town below us. We realised then how remote our mountain village of Pianazzola was. The stone cottages were built so close to one another that the cobbled alleyways created a maze and the chimney on top of top of slated roofs created a beautiful base frame to our view. You could hear the villagers starting their daily routines of bringing in the fire wood, thrashing their rugs outside and chatting with one another. All against the backdrop of the aroma of fresh coffee being brewed. But what was truly deafening was the silence. 

We drove down the mountain road to Chiavenna to take a look around and get a bite to eat; now, this implies that it was a delightful journey, but I’m not going to lie to you, I am a terrible passenger. It comes to light that I am even worse when I’m up high and putting my life in the hands of my husbands driving skills going down and around hairpin turns. What’s worse is that the local, in their beaten-up Panda’s and tractors…yes tractors, navigate up and down the mountain with remarkable speed and annoying skill. We made it safety down in one piece but a little frazzled. I am pleased to report that I learnt to trust my husband’s spatial awareness and leave him to it by the end of our stay. Our marriage still intact.

By lunch time we had found a Crotti restaurant, which wasn’t our first choice but as it turned out was perfect for us and clearly meant to be. Law of Attraction clearly working for us. With our taste buds satisfied and our stomachs full we went to explore. The Italians really do have the work/life balance sorted. When we first entered Chiavenna it was bustling with people, all chilling out drinking coffee enjoying the early March sunshine and socialising. By the time we walked back through it was deserted. The Italians don’t work against the natural biorhythms. Majority of café’s, shops and museums close for their Riposa.4We headed back to the house as all I wanted to do was to sit on the balcony and enjoy the views and read my book. This is when for me time stopped. It no longer existed. That amazing feeling continued in to Sunday. It felt like the longest of days. I stopped thinking about what needed to be done in the future, or the consequences of what had happened in the past. All I cared about was staring at the ever-changing mountains and listening to the silence. I was 100% present in my now and time stood still. There was nowhere else, that I wanted to be, but here. 

Yes, I was missing the kids, but we’d checked in with them and I knew they were having fun and were safe. They didn’t need my attention. We drank coffee, read and watched the world go by at the most glorious of paces. Every now and then by accident I would see the clock on my phone and I registered the time with utter astonishment. What was truly lovely is that my husband was able to settle. He struggles with stillness (although he has been learning to meditate with the app Calm) and hasn’t read a book or magazine in the past 12 years. Our children once asked him if he could read, as they would see me read all the time but never him! He read a magazine that he had bought in July 2018 which still had the wrapper on and he started reading a book. 

We went to explore Pianazzola and found a beautiful spot that had a flowing water trough and bench where we could just sit and gaze at the trees or snow topped mountains whilst listening to the trickling water taking deep lung full of breaths whilst we both meditated. Blissful. 

It felt like a rude awakening when on Monday we had to start thinking of time again. I do confess to being rather put out about this and resented the conversation relating to time. I did succumb in the end to agree on a time to leave and start the reverse process of returning home back to ‘time’.

I love Eckhart Tolle5stance of time that is worth adopting ‘End the delusion of time. Time and mind are inseparable. Remove time from the mind and it stops – unless you choose to use it. To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honour and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfilment in whatever form. Both are illusions.’ 

What Eckhart is saying is that time is an illusion of our mind, and our mind can be so consumed by past events and things that could happen that it takes us away from being in the now and enjoying the present. As he says,‘there is never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be’. In a practical sense Eckhart refers to this as ‘clock time’ he says it’s okay to think about the future as in making plans for an event or appointment, but put it in the diary, or on paper but immediately return to the present moment.

So let’s not wish our lives away. Take your watch off and see how it feels. Allow yourself the time to be in your now. There is no other place you should be living. If this is a struggle evaluate your diary. What are you agreeing to that is taking up your time? Are you achieving a balance? Be consciously aware of when your thoughts start to migrate both in the past or to the future and ping them back to your now. Give yourself the best present by being 100% present.  

1The concept of time occurred approximately 2000BC; with the Egyptians introducing the concept of two 12-hour split time phases. The introduction of mechanical clocks was introduced in the 14thcentury. 

2There are lots of studies that I could reference here however, the this programme highlights the points beautifullyHorizon: Body Clock: What makes us tick?Originally aired BBC2 Thursday 11 October 2018. Due to air again: 1 April 2019 BBC 2 23:15

3Empowering habits are different, also known as ‘Miracle Morning routines’. These can include meditation, exercise, journaling, mantra, rituals of having a cup of tea or coffee, how we shower, clean our teeth (i.e. use your non-dominate hand, it wakes your brain up). 

4Riposa is the same as the Spanish Siesta.

5Tolle Eckhart. 2005, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Page 40-41

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#13 A forced break!

A couple of weeks ago I had flu. In the past I thought I’d suffered with it but oh how wrong was I! I was quite pathetic in all honesty. I actually blamed it on a yoga session I had gone to at first. All my joints had been popped, stretched and released which actually felt lovely and I came away from the session feeling mellow and ‘one’ with my body. But by the evening I was shattered and aching from every joint in my body. But I put it down to yoga and carried on the best I could the following day. But I kept laying down whenever and wherever I could. 

I finally stopped resisting the feeling, when early evening arrived, I took myself to my bed and didn’t move much that week. I’m not going to lie to you I indulged in Netflix, * podcasts and reading galore. Yes, my body was in pain but my mind, although tiring quickly was active enough for the need to be entertained. It certainly wasn’t guilt free. I listened to my family around me as they continued on with their day, occasionally checking in with me. My husband was amazing, I only felt the need to intervene once, which is quite an improvement for me! Or a sign of how unwell I felt. I was also introduced to a new sensation of not being hungry. On any given day my conscious and subconscious is 80% occupied with food; ‘What am I going to eat?’ ‘When am I eating next?’ etc. So, it was a new sensation not wanting to eat, my taste buds were shot but it was nice to not be consumed by thoughts of food.

The previous week I had attended a meditation workshop evening. So, I put my time to good use and listened to soothing music and practiced deep breathing and even tapping on my forehead and areas of pain with the aim of ‘tapping the pain away’. I focused my thoughts on healing myself, allowing the remaining energy that I had within me to be directed to healing from the inside out…this resulted in a lot of sweating! However, it worked wonders. When I centred on my breathing and connected with the music, I felt different. I felt aligned, to the point where it felt like I’d had an hour session of reiki. Which for me has always been a powerful sensation, my world literally spins from the third eye. I’m convinced that what I did contributed to speeding up the healing process.

But I’m not going to lie, last week I had days of feeling sorry for myself and I confess to having a couple of naps after work. It’s taken me a further week to feel back to full health. Having flu is not an illness I wish to be subjected to again, but I can’t deny that indulging in mediation, tapping, rest with peace and quiet is something I haven’t experienced for an extended period of time for a very long time; before children, being the last time. It was truly incredible. But not for another ten years please!

*I can recommend The Staircase, Workin’ Moms, Heal, In Defence of Food, Dumplin, The Keepers, 

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#12 The Law of Attraction part 1

Welcome my friend, I thought it was about time I wrote about the Law of Attraction and the key principles. I’ll spread it over a few blogs, but I hope part one makes you think and excites you to know more.

Law of Attraction (LoA) is no secret. It has however, become a forgotten way of thinking and feeling. Over the years our minds have become cluttered with thoughts, emotions, information and ‘other excess baggage’. That over time has quietened our ability to tap in to our inner being; our frequency.

LoA is not a belief system, nor is it a religious movement. It is all encompassing and actually sits rather comfortably across every known religion with no conflict. It’s not about money or wanting to have materialistic ‘things’ in your life.

So, if it’s not the above then what is it? It is a universal law. Now, don’t switch off because you think I’ve gone in to ‘woo woo’ mode, but bear with me. Another universal law which you could compare it to is gravity. We very rarely think about gravity, nor question its existence. It just is. 

It’s meta physics and quantum physics. We can delve into the smallest subatomic particles of life to help us understand our existence and our reality to help explain the ‘workings’ of LoA.  

LoA is operating whether you are harnessing the power of it to your advantage or not. So why wouldn’t you want to learn more about it, if it can help us feel joy?

LoA works at the level of our vibrational frequency. Our vibrational frequency ISyour emotional state of being, in other words the ‘mood’ that you feel. If we use the analogy of an old style radio that needs to be tuned in to the correct frequency to listen to a specific station. Your emotional state isthe tuning dial. LoA works on the same principles, your universe (the world around you) matches to your vibrational (emotional) state. 

Our vibrational frequency (emotional state) can be ‘tuned’ like an old style radio

To change your vibrational frequency you need your feelings to marry up with your thoughts. The most common phrase associated with LoA is ‘like attracts like’

So how do we go about managing this?

By remembering that our thoughts create our emotions that drive our actions which sets our vibrational frequency. If like attracts like, what are you attracting? You can check the frequency you are at, by looking around you. What are you currently manifesting? Are you happy? Are things going in the direction you want them to go? Are you in a state of wanting more? Never satisfied with what you have? Or living too far in to the future or past? 

Have you ever woken up in the morning and despite your ‘best efforts’ one thing after the other goes wrong? We often proclaim ‘could it get any worse?’ and more often than not, as the day progresses it does get worse. This is LoA working, but in the negative sense. Remember, you are attracting what your vibrational frequency is at.

The funny thing is, we are more accustomed to viewing our world in this way. We jeer ourselves along with mantra’s such as ‘nothing is easy’, ‘you appreciate things more when you work hard to get them’, or ‘life is a trial’. We are conditioned from a young age that nothing is easy, that hard work will eventually provide us with a positive reward. But life doesn’t and shouldn’t be so difficult. 

Remember that our thoughts have the ability to control our reality and our emotions physically affect our energy frequency that we are in. So we need to flip our vision around. If we think about what could happen in a positive sense and truly believe this version of reality then we are inviting it into our lives. 

This time of year we are surrounded by new year’s resolutions. We are told that if we make a goal we need to be accountable and take ownership of it. To share it with others. But the truth is, if we want to truly change we have to change the way we feel, change the way we think, and change the stories we tell ourselves which WILL change your everyday.

No one else can think your thoughts for you. No one can feel them as you would feel them. Change the cycle but learning something different for 2019.

If you want to learn more about the Law of Attraction and how you can use it to create a life you’ve only imagined, join me in my workshops for practical applications and start your journey in to self-reflection now. 

I’d love to hear from you and put you on the waiting list for the up and coming workshops. Say ‘hello’ and email me at caroline@positivestream.life

#11 Would you want your 5 year old self making decisions for you as an adult?

In any given day of any week, month or year we process roughly 60,000 thoughts. But only 1,000 of these thoughts are new. That’s a staggering 98.33% of our consciousness replaying the same scenario’s, memories, stories, ideas and thought patterns internally.

Without us realising it, we are running our lives operating out of the mental architecture of our ancestors which is out dated and distorted over generations. They become the basis of our knee jerk conditioning and automatic behaviours that we learnt before the age of 5 years old.  It’s a horrifying thought that our adult lives are being dictated by our 5 year old selves!

Now, I am not saying that all passed downloaded intel is obsolete. We need to know right from wrong and how to stay safe. What I am referring to is the build-up of negative thought patterns that have been based on other people’s fears, self-beliefs, opinions, situations or economic climate. It can be difficult to identify what is solely our thought or something we’ve unconsciously ‘picked up’ along the way.

As humans we tend to decide in advance how we are going to experience life, that we end up choosing what we want to see. The potential is infinite, if only we would allow it.

Being aware of our thought database is the key. It is completely possible to re-wire our thought patterns from negative to positive which would ultimately have more relevance to our lives that we want to be living.

So how can we do this?

  • First we need to get over our grudge against the world and choose to see things differently. Devote more to what we want to see rather than what we don’t want to see.
  • Be conscious of the current thoughts that pop in to our head. Where do they fit on the spectrum of positive / negative? Are they based on your reality or someone else’s past?
  • Push aside negative thoughts and replace with a positive ones.
  • Live in the now. Yes, we can gain perspective and understanding from our past experiences but how is that going to influence your now? It’s the same thinking too far ahead in to the future. Be present.
  • Stop labelling things as ‘to difficult’, ‘it’s always been this way’ start exploring alternative narratives ‘this could be fun’, ‘I haven’t done this before’, ‘I wonder what would happen if I tried it this way?’
  • Stop thinking you know it all. This outlook only closes doors rather than open new possibilities.
  • Tune in to what you want from life and believe it will happen, because our mind is truly powerful, that it can create something ‘outside’ itself to be more powerful.
  • Practice makes perfect. Start small, see and feel the difference.
  • Be grateful for the small things in life and let people know that you appreciate them but expect nothing in return.
  • Record your mind journey, so you can acknowledge the changes that you are feeling and track your perspective on life.

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#10 Is boredom a problem that needs solving?

We met up with some friends last weekend for a BBQ and whilst sat around the table our friends showed us a website called ‘Kickstarter’; it’s a website for new ideas and products that need a financial boost to help them get to production and launch stage. They showed us a product designed and aimed at children [with no particular age bracket]. This product was a ball that has removeable and interchangeable sleeves with smart technology. The premise behind this ball is that children have lost the art of playing and using their imagination, they need a helping hand, for example playing aeroplanes!

This left me feeling sad and frustrated. Not only as a parent but as someone who also works with children that there are adults out there that feel the need to create a technology-based toy to tap in to a child’s imagination that should already be active.

A child doesn’t need to be shown how to use their imaginations. They need TIME to be allowed to use them.

It seems over time that we have become a very busy society. Filling up our time, and in turn our children’s time. As parents we are the pacesetters in the home. We are teaching our children that they need to be busy whether it’s with technology or life in general. We then tell the world via social media how busy we’ve been and how we’ve ‘entertained’ our children.

But what’s wrong with allowing ourselves the time to be bored?

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A wise bear once said ‘Don’t underestimate the power of doing nothing’ Winnie the Pooh.

 

Boredom allows children [and adults; when boredoms involved we are not mutually exclusive] to use their imaginations to the fullest. They explore their natural environment and create any setting they wish to imagine. They go with the flow of their minds and invent adventures of their fantasies.

Within the Early Years Foundation Stage [EYFS] [which covers age 0-5] the emphasis is on child-led play. Adults take a step back and allow the children to free play. Some parents prefer to see adult-led activities however, once adults start to interact it tends to halt, slow or even stop their play. Sit back and observe them play. A lot of schools are now adopting continuous provision which is extending the EYFS principles up to year 2 or even year 3 with schools.

We need to start embracing boredom rather than reaching for the nearest time filler…mobile phone, TV, iPad, laptop or game console.

Research shows that engaging in low undemanding activity without concentrating on anything we are much more likely to come up with creative ideas. Which is why part of my morning alignment routine incorporates walking the dog as my mind wanders beautifully with different ideas and thoughts entering my mind that usually inspire my day ahead. Taking a shower also has the same effect.

If we allow ourselves the time to become idle we open ourselves up to dream, time to imagine and time to discover gifts, talents and ideas.

Law of Attraction is harnessing the power of your mind, that in turn creates our energy. It’s a ‘muscle’ that needs to be stimulated as it benefits everyone’s emotional well-being.  When people are first learning about LoA and they hear about manifestation they usually default to material items. I like to manifest time. It’s undervalued and treated like an out of stock commodity. But I bet you at least once in your day you will hear someone declare that ‘they don’t have enough time’. We are the keepers of our time. Everyone needs the time to be bored at least once in their day.

Change your everyday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#9 Flicking the switch!

I’ve been procrastinating about the strength and power a negative mindset can have over someone. As the LoA dictates, like attracts like whether this is based on a positive or a negative emotional frequency. But is one emotion stronger than the other?

When someone is feeling in despair, struggling with rejection, frustration, anger, fear, anxiety, sadness or loss [to name only a few emotional states].  And ‘advice’ starts heading in their direction, the last thing they are wanting to hear is ‘what you need to do is think positively!’ How do we tackle negativity? How do we flick the switch?

I’ve had people close to me battling with their negativity all for differing reasons. So how do I handle it…firstly I listen. Which is no easy task. With my counselling training we are taught to listen without interrupting or passing judgement and to hold off on self-disclosure. Easy right? Unfortunately, not. It’s taken me a long time to refrain and achieve self-control. [My family may dispute this statement] In the past I would relate to a previous time when I have been in their shoes to show that I knew what they were going through. Empathy, right? But not so. No one can have the same experience; as we are all different in our outlook, thought patterns, stage of life etc etc.

Listening requires being 100% connected to that person, at that time. Eye gazing without staring and waiting. Waiting for a natural pause in the conversation, [preferably once they have said all that they had wanted to say,] that may or may not be filled with words. I’m a person who used to like filling gaps with words. Any words, off topic or on! Which was usually down to feeling nervous. Now I love silence. People who want to talk need to be listened too, so provide them the time and your attention.

Once the person has expressed what they wanted to say uninterrupted you acknowledge what they have said. This can be in the form of repeating them ‘it sounds like you feel…’  ideally using their words back to them to show them that you have listened and care what they are saying, this is known as ‘paraphrasing’ or ‘summarising’. Only once that this has been done is it the time to gently and appropriately approach the subject from a different stance. But again, gently is the key word. Remember this is sowing seeds of thought and hope not opening an arena to an argument. Best judgement will need to be used. Feel with your intuition. Is there still low vibrational energy in the words and energy surrounding the person? If so listen some more.

It’s highly likely that if this process is used, the person who has been talking would have felt heard. They got what was troubling them off their mind and hopefully feel ready to breathe a sigh of relief and be far more receptive to alternative words.

I think for me, the biggest difference between being negative and positive is HOPE. Without hope, we tend to get in to a state of catastrophising our world which hinders any progress and control that we feel over our lives.

The week just gone I was able to use this method to enable Mr P to see a situation differently. It helped him from procrastinating about something that didn’t go his way and see it as an opportunity that would in fact benefit him.

That’s why I love the Law of Attraction. It gives us back the power and control and allows us to design a reality that we want to live in.

As for answering the question of which emotion is more powerful, the positive or negative? They are equal power. Law of Attraction is neutral, it doesn’t know what you want or need until you think about it. This can sway both ways. However, I do remember reading that for every negative comment someones hears about themselves it can take two or three positive ones to counteract that one negative. But for me I believe that this has more to do with how aligned that person feels to receive such feedback. More on alignment coming shortly.

If my children and Mr P were reading this now, they would questions me why I don’t always use this technique with the kids! No one is perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

#8 Peace restored

I made my first target weight! Whoop! Whoop!

But let me remind you that this journey is not about weight loss, but nor am I going to deny that that the results and effect aren’t a juicy bonus. But for me this is about maintaining a mindset, facing a block that I have battled with in the past which could be applied to anything I have tried to tackle that required more than 24 hours of effort and sacrifice.

It feels unbelievably satisfying, I have accomplished my initial goal that I set out to do. It wasn’t easy nor was it difficult this time.

So what was different? The biggest factor was putting my mind back to a place where I was happy with my weight. I 100% believe that I am as happy with my body as it is now as I would feel at being at my ultimate healthy weight. I am aware that what I put in to my body has a direct effect and impact on my well-being. I question myself, is the food going to nurture me or is it going to make me sluggish?

Everything I eat and do is a conscious decision. I make sure I move my body throughout the day.

My food is varied and I’m eating really healthy food from all food groups but the most obvious culprits such as fat, sugars and carbs I am eating in moderation and the most healthy options. If I fancy something sweet I eat something sweet. If I’ve eaten too much of it I recognise the signs and make note for the future. I learnt that lesson a couple of weeks ago.

My original plans were to go to Bath with my husband to meet up with friends [we lived there for 13 years straight after University], kids were off to grandparents and Buddy was going to my mums. But it all went a little wrong when Buddy became unwell on Wednesday, he was displaying ataxic symptoms. By 2300 he was very agitated and I couldn’t face waiting any longer to get help. So I took him to the emergency vets. There he stayed for two nights on a drip, still not eating. They think he was in contact with something toxic but unsure what.

I had already decided to stay back with Buddy so he could rest up as he wasn’t 100%. I had also become aware that my own alignment was off kilter, my patience was faltering with the kids and I felt claustrophobic.

To feel aligned I need to have had some form of alone time during the day and this wasn’t happening as it was the school holidays. On the Friday morning I was due to pick up Buddy from the vets, I went to make myself my morning cuppa, went back upstairs where my husband informed me that he’d received a message from one set of grandparents that they couldn’t have the kids, 1) they had forgotten about the arrangement and 2) they had sold their larger car and only had the 2-seater. Annoyingly my intuition had this scenario already playing around in my head. I had asked my husband to get in touch with them earlier that week to check timings etc but he hadn’t and had sent a text the day before prompting this text. I already felt saddened by pulling out of an evening with good friends and now a quiet house was being taken from me as well. I resigned myself to having a full house. I had already said to my husband to go to Bath as planned. Luckily, he understands my need for space and called upon his mum to help us out with the kids for the night.

Peace restored.

There is something quiet satisfying waving goodbye to the kids and husband and closing and locking the door [taking no chances of a return] behind them and facing the quietest of spaces. Buddy was happy to be home and sleeping. I settled down to do some work on LoA which often aligns me. I could feel myself getting a little fidgety so Buddy and I went for a walk around the block. I decided to spend an hour watching indulgent TV. I make no excuses but I like TV, it quietens my mind when it gets too busy. I found myself thinking of food. So I did what every self-respected slimmer does on weigh day. I go for it with a Chinese take-out and beers. I made some healthy choices [red king prawns] but can’t deny that I was thrown a little by the minimum card transaction so I added a few other things that were a tad naughty [sesame prawn toast, and crispy won tons]. I sat eating it all and really enjoying every mouthful with the knowledge that I won’t be doing this again for a while.

The feeling afterwards was immediate. I felt sluggish and uncomfortably full. I didn’t like the reaction the food had on my body. But happy that my mind stayed with me. In the past I would have thought ‘sod it, I’ve fallen off the healthy eating waggon so I’ll just continue’. I went to bed knowing that in the morning I’ll do a workout and walk Buddy and not feel guilty about my indulgence. I sit here having done just that.

I have set a new target weight goal, one that I can’t wait to achieve.

#7 The power of our mind can heal and hinder.

I have two friends battling heroically with breast cancer this year. Both having similar treatments but in various orders. I caught up with one of the friends the other day. She’d finished her course of chemo, road tested two different drug combinations both of which causing awful side effects. She is getting ready to have her mastectomy operation next week.

I ended up asking the most obvious of questions…’How do you feel about it?’ Unoriginal I know! She responded with ‘I haven’t slept for two weeks as I’m scared about the prognosis’.  She then went on to disclose that she had found/given [unsure which?] an online questionnaire that is used by the NHS oncology staff, whereby you plug in your statistics such as type of cancer and how many lymph nodes are positive and the type of treatment they have had to predict the prognosis. She was given an 80% chance of surviving 5 years! I was taken aback as one; that she had access to this tool and two; why would you put yourself through this process of a ticking time bomb? Especially when she didn’t have all the facts yet.

In no certain terms can I sit here and say that I know what she and other cancer warriors are going through. I just simply don’t. I had a moment. A moment that lasted for two days, when I was 29, I had a mole removed, it was soon after my first child was born, and I found that my mind ran away and catastrophised the situation far more than I would have done before having children. I was lucky as it came to nothing. I remember the relief that I felt and the exhaustion of what my thoughts had put me through for the last 48 hours. I currently have a very close family member who is undergoing treatment for bowel cancer. But it’s one thing to sit on the side lines trying to be helpful than it is to be dealing with the physical and emotional rollercoaster 100% of your day.

I’m unable to say how I would feel or behave if I was dealt the same hand. I’d like to think that I would maintain a positive outlook with a few wobbles and occasional feel sorry for myself duvet days, but I am hoping like the majority of people reading this that would never materialise.

I listened to her. I know my friend well enough to understand the devasting blow she was experiencing at this prognosis. I touched her shoulder which stopped her for a moment and said, ‘you need to put these statistics to one side as these could have a far more detrimental effect on your mental health than you need right now’.

We spoke about holistic routes, placebo effects and positive mindset. She stopped. Looked at me and said, ‘Caroline none of these won’t work’, I went to interject but she quickly finished by saying ’because I don’t believe in it’.

And there it is. Plain and simple. The power of our mind can heal and hinder.

How do you change the opinion of someone who is 100% a none believer?

So, I am doing a little delving and seeing what I can find. Watch this space.