#20 Thought dumping and verbal vomiting to achieve your ultimate well-being

I used to keep things bottled up within. From the big to the small things in life. I hated confrontation and the fall out that pursued it, so I did my upmost to avoid them. I felt like I was the ‘better being’ as I wasn’t causing a scene or an unnecessary argument.  But unbeknown to me I was doing way more damage than I ever intended. 

Although I was keeping things to myself, the body has a way of giving hints as to how we truly feel. Our eyes may roll, our facial muscles react in response to words and actions. Our body demeanour has a language of its own that speaks volumes to the people around us who in turn, react and have their own responses.

Within us our thoughts start to grow like a cancer. They spoil into other areas of our mindset and before we even recognise what’s happened, we start to change our underlying feelings over the course of time. Sticking to our temperaments and seeping into our personalities.  Emotions of bitterness, resentfulness, hurt, anger, frustration, jealousy, fear can overcome us and start to influence our world without us even realising.

This process takes it toll on us from the inside. I used to suffer terribly with swollen glands  in the throat area. Never a sore throat, but painful to swallow and tender to touch. It tended to appear during periods of personal stress and/or juggling a busy life. The doctor’s couldn’t detect anything that may be causing it.

When I started to work on my own self-development I became aware of the effects of ill thinking was having on my well-being and body. I finally made the link between keeping schtum and my throat. As soon as I started to open up to others about how I was feeling as well as writing my thoughts down on paper I noticed the positive changes that I felt within. I had removed the ‘blockage’ within my throat as I had found my voice, that had liberated me from my over thinking.

Having a ‘safe space’ to dump your thoughts allows you to play the emotion and scenario out. It gives you the time for reflection, acceptance and understanding of the situation that triggered the original thought. When you put pen to paper or you are physically typing out your thoughts it provides you a moment of clarity. Forming a sentence to reflect your inner most thoughts requires a level of cognition. This process will create new insights and perspectives with the scenario. 

By the time I have completed the ‘dump’ I personally felt so much better. I have released the emotions I had felt, amended my opinion and ultimately felt lighter. If I found that some feelings were lingering I may explore it further in my journal. I may write a letter to that person explaining to them how I feel. This letter will never be sent, it may well be burnt, but either way it’s off my chest. 

I can also highly recommend a session of verbal vomiting. This is best done alone when no one can hear you (for obvious reasons). My favourite time to do this is on a dog walk. I chat out loud about the situation that has irked me and have a little rant. I let the words flow, with as much emotion as I deem necessary and then I stop. I take a metaphorical step back and sense how I am feeling. I ask myself, is there still unrest within me? Has my opinion altered? Do I still feel consumed with the same thoughts? Most often I don’t. I feel calmer and continue my walk in bliss and chat with Buddy (my dog) as normal.

The Science bit Where we hold our stress within our bodies is personal to each of us; some have increased heart palpitations, sweating, aches and pains or stomach upsets. There is a reason for this. We have a nerve that runs from our brain stem and entangles itself through all the major organs called the vagus nerve (aka the wanderer). This nerve acts as a two way transmitter. Not only does it react to the brains signals it receives from our thoughts about our worlds or reality, but more often it communicates from our organs to our brain. The vagus nerve is part of our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which is the calming part of the autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS is responsible for regulating many involuntary processes within our body. So rather important wouldn’t you say?

If we remind ourselves that our thoughts trigger our emotions, that drives our actions that give us our results. In this process our bodies will produce the relevant emotional chemical i.e. serotonin, endorphins, insulin, adrenaline etc depending on the thought we think. Which is why it’s so important we direct our thoughts.

So, if you find that you are consuming yourself with negative thought patterns your body is going to feel a regular surge of chemicals that put your body in a ‘get ready mode’. You’ll have adrenaline and cortisol being released after thinking a negative thought. If this happens over a period of time our bodies can actually become dependent on these chemicals and will start to crave more of this energy zapping emotional chemical. Your mind will want to recreate the thoughts that enable those chemicals to be released and you’ll find yourself in a pattern.

When we build up our negative thoughts, we are unwittingly creating surges of chemicals within our bodies that have negative side-effects. Over time, we can develop physical aliments due to our consistent thoughts such as high blood pressure, gastrointestinal problems, reduced immune symptom, so we are more susceptible too diseases, we have a higher risk of experiencing anxiety and depression.

Becoming more mindful of our thoughts and directing them in the way we want helps us to heal from within. A wonderful consequence of this means that we start to create a new habit and a more healthy thought pattern. We are also protecting our relationships with the people we want in our lives. This isn’t or shouldn’t be deemed as avoidance; this allows time for you to gain a different perspective so if and when you choose to speak to someone about the ‘subject’ you can do so at a different emotional state and better vibrational frequency. Hopefully achieving a better outcome for all involved.

Looking through the eyes of Law of Attraction, this exercise is perfect for up levelling your vibrational frequency. When our vibrations (energy) is high, we are automatically manifesting things at that level. The higher the vibrational frequency the more your emotions are leaning towards love and joy. The perfect energy to ensure that you are manifesting what you want in to your life now.

Doing a thought dump and verbal vomit regularly acts as a release valve that allows you too safely reset yourself back to a neutral equilibrium. It paves the way to a more positive well-being that ultimately protects us from the inside out.

Win win!

#19 Appreciation v’s Gratitude

At times like these, it’s easy to feel swept away with the strongest emotion that surrounds us. For some, this may be feelings of frustration, anxiety, worry or fear. But for others, this moment has offered us more.  More time, reflection, self-development, rest, and repose.

For those who are struggling at this moment in time I wanted to share with you techniques on how you can help alleviate these feelings.

I like to start and end most days with a rampage of appreciation. A lot of people talk about gratitude rather than appreciation but there is a significant difference between the two. They are used interchangeably, but they do not mean the same thing.

You may have heard people talk about “gratitude journal’s” whereby you write things you are grateful for in your life. There is nothing wrong with this action as it is a great way to raise your vibration. Remember the Law of Attraction is matched to your vibrational frequency and your vibrational frequency is set by your emotions. Being grateful for something gives you a feeling of positive emotion  within you, which is a vibration at the higher end.

But, what if I told you that you could achieve a higher vibrational frequency. It’s a subtle difference, just replace gratitude with APPRECIATION. 

Gratitude vs Appreciation

If you were to look up the definition of gratitude you’d find it was the ‘quality of being thankful’ This definition and our interpretation tends to come with baggage; that the quality of being thankful has taken place after a struggle that you’ve overcome. There is a sense of fear that surrounds that struggle, that you should feel grateful for the good that has come to you. It has a sense of underserving or you are indebted to someone or something for all the good in your life. It is this feeling of baggage that changes the vibrational frequency to a lower one.

So let’s compare this with appreciation. The definition ‘is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something’. This instantly feels different. It allows us to focus on the good qualities of a person or thing  which immediately takes your vibrational frequency to the highest level.

Increasing the Value

By focusing on the good qualities of something or someone, it offers so much power; partly because appreciation is the identical vibration of love and joy.

Appreciation is more about a calling to be more of who you are whereas gratitude feels separate or external from you. 

Here are a few ways that you can incorporate being more appreciative within your life NOW.

1. The first thing I do before I fully wake up, is to spend a few minutes gifting myself with lots of reasons on why I feel appreciative in my life. This can range from a sunny day, a lie in, drinking an amazing cuppa in bed (such luxury), being paid on time from a client, anticipation for a new experience coming my way that day, healthy family etc. What better way than to start your day in a high vibrational frequency, ready to let the day enfold before you.

2. The last thing at night, before I drift off to sleep, I scan through the day and think of how I feel about my now. Running through all of the things that I am appreciative of; achieving that feeling of love and contentment before submitting to the end of the day should allow you to get a better night sleep. Hopefully this appeases any anxiety or fear that you may be feeling right now.

3. If I find that my energy is waining during the day I like to ‘level-up’ my frequency by doing a rampage of appreciation. You can do this anywhere, at any time. This is where you list as many things that you are appreciative of now (including past, present and future things yet to come). From the smallest to the largest thing that pops in to your head. This can be in the form of a mental download or in your journal. If you work at a computer, open up a word document and start listing, one after the other. The beauty with this is that it looks like you are working. Make sure you keep the document for next time. It’s great to look back on and reflect.

4. As mentioned above, being appreciative of things that have yet to come in to your world is one of the most important elements of Law of Attraction. For us to be in the same vibrational frequency for what we desire, we have to be at the same vibrational frequency of your chosen wish to be able to match it in the NOW. The easiest trick is to act, behave and believe as if it’s already in your possession. So be appreciative of the things that have yet to enter your life now so you are drawing them to you.

5. View the world from a different angle with no alternative motive. Removing any ulterior motive from our perception and consciousness gives us a feeling of a more panoramic view of our existing world. Having a motive has a tendency to close off and influence what we see, say and think. When you remove the intention or pre-determined outcome/look you are opening yourself up to seeing, hearing, experiencing new sensations etc. This openness and new appreciative perspective could quite literally open more doors to you. Who knows where this may lead you.

6. I hold my hands up and confess that I, like many others, have at one time or another disliked my body. When I realise that I have gone back in to this thought pattern I remind myself that my body is a working, fully functioning body that supports me and allows me to play, run and do many more things with my family and friends. I am appreciative of what it can do now and I shouldn’t get bogged down with how I look. When this flip in perception occurs my reflection in the mirror alters. I no longer see the bumps and curves that caused me ‘distress’ earlier felt.

7. Make sure you let people know what they mean to you. Whether this is in a text, phone call, letter, card, email or Skype. Never assume that they know. Tell them. Especially with everything that is going on, finding alternative ways of connecting with one another is important for our wellbeing avoiding isolation and loneliness. 

8. Appreciate the time we have been given and release the guilt of doing little. I struggled with this the other day. I desperately wanted to do nothing but stay in my pyjama’s and watch Netflix. So that is what I did. However, the feeling of guilt was lingering. I had to tell myself to allow this moment to happen and embrace it guilt free. Once I accepted that I didn’t need to be anywhere, there was nothing pressing for me to do I continued to binge watch ‘Love is Blind’.

These are just a few examples of how you can be more appreciative within your life. 

Have a go and feel the difference. You may even find that this new perspective of appreciation has a positive knock on effect on the people around us which can never be a bad thing at this moment in history.

#18 What would your future self want you to know now?

And breathe…it feels like we are living in extraordinary times right now. Where the rules that we have lived by for so long have been thrown up in the air and re-shuffled to form a new world or reality. This does not have to mean doom and gloom.

This is history. 

We will look back to this moment and recall how we rallied around for one another, supporting, guiding, soothing, comforting and cheering from a safe 6 feet apart. How the absurdity of some people who felt the need to stock pile toilet tissue…of all things!

It feels like the Universe has pressed the re-set button. With the start of Spring officially here, where night and day are of equal length and the sun is gaining strength. It feels like the light is defeating the dark. It offers me hope, that the natural world is coming alive and that we have to allow the ebb and flow to occur and all will be well. I do have trust that what is thrown at us has a purpose and a reason. Whether we understand its true meaning is irrelevant.

At times like these, when people’s anxiety and fear is high and the news fuel’s rather than extinguishes people’s thoughts and emotions. I like to write a letter to my future self; whether this is 10 years from now, a year, a month or just a few days from now. I include things that I wish to accomplish, but I write it as if I have already completed it. From a place of knowing and certainty. Away from fear and self-doubt.

When you think of yourself in the future, you start to establish a relationship with that version of you. You are invested in that outcome because it is your path. 

You can be as practical as you want or need to be; if you want to write about pensions, your children’s education or future holiday plans then that’s where you penmanship takes you. 

Tap in to your imagination, because how we think, the thoughts that we have about ourselves helps us achieve what we want to achieve NOW. This is a great start for people who struggle with being imaginative or self-indulging. 

The key is, once you become aware of who you want to be, it is easier to connect with that reality in the NOW.

At times like this when things feel uncertain, we want to have a sense of control. This is a way of taking back the reins and tap in to what you really want from life. Remember, every thing is being shuffled around, this doesn’t need to be a negative. This letter could be a gateway to your next set of goals / to do list. 

There are two versions you could do.

1. Write a letter from future self (10/1 years from now) to your present self. 

Think about the circumstances, how old will you be? Children? Career? where are you Living? How much money are you earning?

What do you wish you had known 10 years ago to help you achieve what you wanted?

What does your life look like? How does it feel?

What have you achieved?

2. Write a letter from your present self to your future self.  

What can you learn from your present self to your future self?

This helps cement the relationship you have with your future self.

Affects the way that you treat yourself NOW.

If you have an amazing relationship with yourself in all of the time zones, you can create a wonderful life for yourself NOW.

This exercise allows us to step away from instant gratification (primitive brain reflex) and more towards self-control, actioning forward and trusting what is to come. 

The gifts and appreciation that we are giving ourselves ‘thank you for exercising and eating well, thank you for going back to night school etc.

You are the bridge right now from your past self to your future self.