#18 What would your future self want you to know now?

And breathe…it feels like we are living in extraordinary times right now. Where the rules that we have lived by for so long have been thrown up in the air and re-shuffled to form a new world or reality. This does not have to mean doom and gloom.

This is history. 

We will look back to this moment and recall how we rallied around for one another, supporting, guiding, soothing, comforting and cheering from a safe 6 feet apart. How the absurdity of some people who felt the need to stock pile toilet tissue…of all things!

It feels like the Universe has pressed the re-set button. With the start of Spring officially here, where night and day are of equal length and the sun is gaining strength. It feels like the light is defeating the dark. It offers me hope, that the natural world is coming alive and that we have to allow the ebb and flow to occur and all will be well. I do have trust that what is thrown at us has a purpose and a reason. Whether we understand its true meaning is irrelevant.

At times like these, when people’s anxiety and fear is high and the news fuel’s rather than extinguishes people’s thoughts and emotions. I like to write a letter to my future self; whether this is 10 years from now, a year, a month or just a few days from now. I include things that I wish to accomplish, but I write it as if I have already completed it. From a place of knowing and certainty. Away from fear and self-doubt.

When you think of yourself in the future, you start to establish a relationship with that version of you. You are invested in that outcome because it is your path. 

You can be as practical as you want or need to be; if you want to write about pensions, your children’s education or future holiday plans then that’s where you penmanship takes you. 

Tap in to your imagination, because how we think, the thoughts that we have about ourselves helps us achieve what we want to achieve NOW. This is a great start for people who struggle with being imaginative or self-indulging. 

The key is, once you become aware of who you want to be, it is easier to connect with that reality in the NOW.

At times like this when things feel uncertain, we want to have a sense of control. This is a way of taking back the reins and tap in to what you really want from life. Remember, every thing is being shuffled around, this doesn’t need to be a negative. This letter could be a gateway to your next set of goals / to do list. 

There are two versions you could do.

1. Write a letter from future self (10/1 years from now) to your present self. 

Think about the circumstances, how old will you be? Children? Career? where are you Living? How much money are you earning?

What do you wish you had known 10 years ago to help you achieve what you wanted?

What does your life look like? How does it feel?

What have you achieved?

2. Write a letter from your present self to your future self.  

What can you learn from your present self to your future self?

This helps cement the relationship you have with your future self.

Affects the way that you treat yourself NOW.

If you have an amazing relationship with yourself in all of the time zones, you can create a wonderful life for yourself NOW.

This exercise allows us to step away from instant gratification (primitive brain reflex) and more towards self-control, actioning forward and trusting what is to come. 

The gifts and appreciation that we are giving ourselves ‘thank you for exercising and eating well, thank you for going back to night school etc.

You are the bridge right now from your past self to your future self.

#17 De-clutter your negativity

There is no avoiding negativity, but we can get a handle on it. We need to invite more positivity into our lives, to do this we have to address the negativity.

I’m naturally a negative person. Which I know sounds a little strange coming from someone who advocates positive thinking. But I have learnt to be conscious in my everyday thoughts and be mindful of the words that I use to overcome my mind’s default setting of seeing the worse-case scenario in life. But I am far from perfect, of course there are times when my consciousness deviates and negativity slips out of my mouth like an unintended bottom burp. 

But It’s not our fault, right! We are naturally a negative nation. It’s part of our conversational DNA. We sing the song about the miserable weather, the terrible traffic or how manic our day has been like a pacifying nursery rhyme. We then turn on the news and rather than hear of all the good things with our world and society we are bombarded with he said/she said, disputes, disasters and death. 

A lot of this negativity is subtle. It appears without us even registering it. It’s sabotaging our thoughts and our results outside of our consciousness. So, for us to attract more positivity into our lives we need to first look at our negative patterns. 

Negativity can rear its head in a number of ways; you may find yourself saying these familiar phrases “that won’t work”, “I don’t like that”, “I don’t want to…”, “they said this/that”. 

You may find yourself being consumed by another person’s action, decision or emotion and complain about it? Do you feel that other people are going about their lives in the wrong way and you know better? Do you think there are toxic people? 

Unbeknown to us the very act of complaining of other people’s negativity is in fact negative. The Law of Attraction states, that where you place your focus is what you attract more of. Negativity attracts more negativity.

So how can we become more conscious of our thought process to ensure positivity shines through? 

By looking within. Recognising that we are in control over what our likes, our dislikes, desires and our reactions are to our external environment. 

We have a choice as to whether we voice them or not, because nothing is negative until we state it as so. There is no upside to focusing on negativity.

Top Tips when becoming more conscious

When we start to observe our thoughts, we need to be kind to ourselves — don’t beat yourself up because you realise that negativity is more prevalent than you had previously acknowledged. 

You need to separate the facts from thinking. Just because it feels true doesn’t make it true, this is down to our individual perception and belief. 

It doesn’t matter how another person shows up/behaves/talks as it isn’t on you to correct or comment, it’s on them — you will feel resistance to this feeling, let it pass.

Choose wisely what you say out loud, because how you decide to behave is 100% on you — allow time from thought to reaction.

Allow people to be themselves, without it affecting who you are as a person.

If you find yourself reacting to a particular person, imagine that what this person said or did was done by your best friend. Would you feel the same way?

With 2020 just days away and resolutions buzzing in our grey matter. Let’s give ourselves the best possible chance of success de-cluttering our negativity.

#16 Daily pickles

For us to harness the true power of the Law of Attraction (of creating a life that we want to live), we have to add a little self-progression with a big dollop of self-awareness. I would like to share with you a scenario that you may be able to resonate with that happened to me a few weeks ago.

Cup of hot loose tea.

My morning was flowing beautifully. I awoke feeling energised, I had a cuppa with no interruptions (everyone else was asleep), a ran through my appreciation list that I was feeling that morning. Life was feeling good. I felt great. Three hours later, life looked and felt a little different. I had arranged a catch up with my sister at her house, taking my children with our mum also joining us. 

I’d awoken my daughter, who had gotten in to the habit of sleeping in, giving her 40 minutes to have breakfast and get dressed. She’d already assured me she was ‘ready’ but when it came to shouting “SHOES ON!” there was little movement. My son appeared from somewhere and dutifully did as he was told (which is rarely the norm). 

After many strained verbal toing and froing up and down the stairs between myself and my daughter, we we’re eventually all in the car, albeit 10 minutes later than I had wanted to and five minutes before we needed to be at my sister’s.

But we were off. Turned right at the end of my road to find I’d made a mistake as the traffic was horrendous; a three lane A-road was being filtered into just one. It was too late to reverse, I had to stick to my route. At this point my son decided to pipe up saying ‘I’m hungry’. Which triggered a thought. I’d left the kids snack but also the teabags that my sister had requested as her online shop hadn’t been delivered yet as she’d just returned from her holiday. “Not a problem, I’ll make a quick stop off at the shops” I say out loud, but internally my heart tenses. The issue is that I have picked up a reputation over the years for being late.  I say ‘I’ but more often that not the likelihood increases when I have kids or husband in tow.

A clock with the minutes spinning at speed.

As I’m running around the shop, grabbing items, I attempt to call my big sis to transfer blame, but no one answers. I throw my replacement items on the counter, plus a packet of ‘naughty’ biscuits for the adults to enjoy with their tea and rush back to the car. I start the engine and within seconds my phone rings. My daughter answers the call and puts it on speaker phone. My sister. I start cascading reasons why we are late like verbal vomit, when she interjects and says, that mum has locked herself out of her house and locked her keys in her car. Impressive! We giggle at mums’ expense. “Not to worry” I proclaim, I’m near her so I’ll swing by and pick her up. We disconnect, and then the car computer makes a ping noise, that I am familiar with. It’s another warning to tell me that the fuel is low. It did the same to me yesterday, but I didn’t have time then. Looking at the remaining mileage, it was now urgent. “Okay, not a problem” I hear myself say again, we are literally driving past a petrol station in 10 seconds let’s make a detour. I could feel myself at this point becoming more stressed. I start to get agitated and annoyed at silly things which is directed at other drivers on the road.

I fill up and then head inside to pay. The lady behind the cash desk shouts a number in my direction as I’m walking to the counter before I’ve even said which pump I’m at. The number isn’t familiar to me, if anything it’s more than I put in my tank. Another lady walks in to which the kiosk lady judged my facial expression and realised her mistake. As she has rung up the wrong pump could she let the lady who just walked in, pay first. I have no issues with this, but not ideal.

After paying and waiting an extraordinary amount of time for a receipt that I don’t need. The phone rings again, it’s my sister who has now become the go between. She says mum is now heading on foot to her local shops to buy biscuits. “No”, I seem to shout at the phone, “I have bought biscuits for us!”. My now secretary is calling our mum telling her to abort her sweet treat mission and head back to base.

No, written on a red background.

We set off again. My son decides to tell me, “when dad goes to the petrol station, he always buys something, like sweets”. Well, I think it’s fair to say that at this point I’ve had enough. No. I’m not going to buy sweets, after spending money on snacks and biscuits and tea bags, all of which I have at home. I have raised my voice. My daughter jumps to her younger brother’s defence and says, “he’s not asking for sweets mum, he’s just telling you what dad sometimes does”.

Darn, she is correct. And breath.

I apologise to them both and take more deep breaths whilst driving to my mums. I start to take a metaphorical step back within my head to allow space to appear to take stock.

I’m frustrated, that once again I am giving people more reasons to say that I am ‘always’ late. I’m angry with myself for allowing it to happen again. I feel guilty that rather than accept responsibility for the tardiness, I tried to place blame at my children’s feet. I’m annoyed, that despite my attempts to be organised and with setting myself reminders I still forgot the snacks and teabags that I left on the side, rather than put them directly in my bag that was waiting on the side. 

It’s starting to dawn on me that I can’t work against this force. I have to accept the barriers that I am creating for what they are. These are experiences to help me shift the behaviours that are making my life difficult. 

I’ll let mum deal with her own issues, as that I can’t help with. However, my lesson in that scenario is that I keep leaving my own bunch of ever-growing keys at home and just take my husbands with the car keys on. I’ve been ignoring my inner voice, which recently reminded me on several occasions about taking them with a “you’ll need them”. If I had taken them on this occasion, I would have been able to open up my mum’s front door, allowing her to get her spare car keys and take the item that my sister had asked her to bring that was now locked in her car.

We cram Nana in to the car and set off to our final destination. I glance at the clock and we are an embarrassing 28 minutes and counting late. 

Over a cup of tea we re-live, giggle and summarise with a “definitely, could do better” whilst munching on rather yummy biscuits. 

What’s the moral of my story? When our inner voice speaks, take note and action. We recognise our inner voice as it will repeat in different scenario’s the same succinct words. Our inner voice doesn’t need long sentences or paragraphs, two to four words will be enough to get the message across. All we need to do is listen and act on it. 

We need to allow time for self-awareness and observe our behaviours and emotions. These emotions are the gateway to setting our vibrational frequency that creates the energy that communicates with our universe, that ultimately creates the world you desire.  

Observing is the starting point but actively changing our behaviours based on our observations and connecting the dots between the situation and the preluding behaviours and outcome is how we can make a difference. 

My final lesson is always have a giggle. Laughing is an amazing lever to switch between two extreme moods in the shortest amount of time. You have to see the funny side to life and the situations we get ourselves in.  

So, what life lesson pickles have you got yourself in to lately?